We had to take a physical fitness test in school today. It sucked! I had to run laps until I felt like my spleen was going to explode, and then I couldn't do any pull-ups and Coach Berry called me a simp. I'll bet he's just mad that he didn't make the kickball team when he was in school, the jerk.

My buddies and I joined an after-school bowling team. Oh, I think you call it "bowling" over there, is that right? How confusing. Anyway, my mom says I spend way too much time playing video games (I like Pokemann Fantasy 2 the best), so I have to play outside so I don't get fat. Whatever! I only weigh 2950 candygrams. I'm not sure how that converts to whatever weight you guys use.

My dad went a little crazy last night and painted my whole room white. And I mean the *whole* room. So now my sheets are all stiff and everything smells like wet paint. Do you know how to get paint off of a video game? I'm seriously jonesing without my Kill Iron 12 -- I mean, I just unlocked the variant Diamond Mount before all this happened!