We had some guy from the college come today and talk about pledging Upsilon Eta Nu, the big fraternity over there. I said I had enough friends without buying any, which was pretty funny, until he said he could tell that wasn't true just looking at me. It would've been okay if my former best friend Freddy Kirk had stuck up for me. Whatever. I have friends! I've got you, anyway.

My mom says I'm playing too many video games and getting too fat. So now when I get home from school, I have to run around in circles for an hour before she'll let me in the house. I told her that all of my friends are way fatter than I am, and you know what she said? She said, "If at first you don't succeed, but you can't make him drink." I mean, what does that even mean?

I still have to hose down the kitchen sink to earn my allowance, and I usually blow it on comic books and bubble gum. My favorite comic right now is The Incredible Dex Blood -- I can't believe the stuff he gets up to every month!