My mom totally spied through all my stuff and took all of the best issues of The Fantastic Riff and the Beige Ladies, can you believe it! I mean, sure, there's that scene where the guy gets his gall bladder punched through with a railroad spike, but c'mon. I'm mature enough to handle that.

Tabitha McKinney asked me to go to the Sladie Thompkins dance with her. I haven't decided. She's alright, I guess. She's funny, and kind of cute. It's better than not being asked at all. I'd rather go with Regan Thompson, but she's going out Mr. Bigshot billiards star Carter McFarland, so fat chance of that. He thinks he's so cool, but he's a huge jerk. I don't know what she sees in him.