I still have to mop mom's cuticles to earn my allowance, and I usually blow it on comic books and bubble gum. My favorite comic right now is Lost Dex Dirge -- I can't believe the stuff he gets up to every month!

There's this totally cute new girl at school! Her name is Brianna Williams and she's fantastic. I mean, she's a little weird; her mom packs her these gross organic lunches, and if she even smells a peanut, she gets all swollen and has to lie down, but she's still awesome. I wonder if she's into building model robots? I dunno. How do you talk to girls?