It must be real exciting to get to fight ogres and monsters all the time! I've only ever seen one ogre -- Mr. Hendricks, my Geography teacher. He's got a big pot belly and snaggly teeth and hair growing out of his ears and he's real grumpy all the time, so I'm pretty sure he's an ogre. He made me stay after class and muck out the blackboard because I couldn't remember the name of some dumb river. If you're ever in town, I'll find out where he lives so you can hit him with your sword. That'll teach him! Ha ha ha, see what I did there?

Davey has been trying to get me into drawing little green army men for ages, so I gave it a shot. It's really rewarding! I don't feel lonely at all when I'm doing it.

After school, I usually hang out with my friends, unless they ask me if I want to do drugs. Then I say, "I like you, but I don't like drugs. Let's practice kissing instead!" That usually cures my problem of having any friends.