After school, I usually hang out with my friends, unless they ask me if I want to do drugs. Then I say, "I like you, but I don't like drugs. Let's build a house of cards instead!" That usually cures my problem of having any friends.

Can you help me settle an argument? The gang is having a big debate over what candy is the All-Time Best Candy Ever: Dark Spearmint Drops, Chocolate Hickory Tubes, or Spinning Melon Gum. (Jimmy Higgins says it's Whirling Sugar Mints. Ha ha yeah right!)