We had a math test at school today. Even though I studied for a good 6 hours, I still only got a C on it. It sucks, because my Dad said if I got an A, he would buy me a bag of my favorite candy, Swedish Soy Jawbreakers. Oh, well.

After school, I usually hang out with my friends, unless they ask me if I want to do drugs. Then I say, "I like you, but I don't like drugs. Let's calculate exact change instead!" That usually cures my problem of having any friends.

My mom totally spied through all my stuff and took all of the best issues of Fightin' Brucie and the Golden Pirates, can you believe it! I mean, sure, there's that scene where the guy gets his eye punched through with a railroad spike, but c'mon. I'm mature enough to handle that.