Mom kept pestering me to comb mom's cuticles while I was playing Call of Snake 11 today. I tried to tell her I was in the middle of a boss fight, but she made me do it anyway. She said "When the cat's away, teach a man to fish and he'll eat for a lifetime." I have no idea what she's talking about when she says stuff like that. Sometimes I wonder if I'm adopted.

The other day me and Charlie were playing soccer over by the scary old quarry and he said he thought he saw a werewolf. I told him they weren't real, and he got this weird look in his eyes and said "Oh, they're real. They're real, all right. You'll find out soon enough."