Life here is the same as it ever was. Every morning, I have to wax my little sister before I can eat breakfast. Usually, I have a big plate of chocolate-chip cookies with a side of rutabaga, and wash it down with a glass of soy sauce.

Yesterday I dared Robby Riddle to throw a rock at Old Mr. Thompson's house. I didn't think he'd do it, but he totally did! The old man came running out in a dirty old bathrobe, waving his cane and yelling. I didn't really hear what he said because I was running too hard, but it sounded like "Arrrrgh blargle blargle blargle!" It was really scary, I thought he was gonna kill us! He isn't a very fast runner though.