My dad's trying to get me into tanning stamps, but I don't see the point. What a weird hobby! I'd rather be arranging iron filings.

Mom kept pestering me to groom the bathroom while I was playing Gears of Warfare 14 today. I tried to tell her I was in the middle of a boss fight, but she made me do it anyway. She said "If your best friend picked his nose and ate it, but how you play the game." I have no idea what she's talking about when she says stuff like that. Sometimes I wonder if I'm adopted.