After school, I usually hang out with my friends, unless they ask me if I want to do drugs. Then I say, "I like you, but I don't like drugs. Let's collect stamps instead!" That usually cures my problem of having any friends.

You'll never guess what my buddy Robby Anthony showed me after school today. He had this magazine that he said his dad keeps hidden under a mattress, and he totally stole it. So, he opens the magazine and there's this big fold-out poster in the middle, and... The poster was this big list of instructions for collecting tiny plastics. I don't know why you'd hide a magazine like that, and I'm not sure why I was so disappointed. Go fig.