We had to take a physical fitness test in school today. It sucked! I had to run laps until I felt like my gall bladder was going to explode, and then I couldn't do any pull-ups and Coach Durden called me a Poindexter. I'll bet he's just mad that he didn't make the golf team when he was in school, the jerk.

Chuckie Clark keeps talking about collecting bottlecaps. Who does that anymore? That was AGES ago! Nowadays everyone is braiding flowers. What do they do for fun where you live? Maybe that'll be the next big thing over here!

My mom says I'm playing too many video games and getting too fat. So now when I get home from school, I have to dig ditches and fill them back in for an hour before she'll let me in the house. I told her that all of my friends are way fatter than I am, and you know what she said? She said, "It's not whether you win or lose, but how you play the game." I mean, what does that even mean?