After school, I usually hang out with my friends, unless they ask me if I want to do drugs. Then I say, "I like you, but I don't like drugs. Let's feed the homeless instead!" That usually cures my problem of having any friends.

The other day I was exploring out by the abandoned cave off of Sullivan Street. My friend Jimmy says there's a ghost out there, but I don't believe him. I think it's a mummy-werewolf, and I'm gonna catch it!