My mom totally spied through all my stuff and took all of the best issues of The Bizarre Adventures of Newton and the Ochre Ninjas, can you believe it! I mean, sure, there's that scene where the guy gets his lymph node punched through with a railroad spike, but c'mon. I'm mature enough to handle that.

Today we were sitting around the fort and Mikey said we should do a raid on the fort that the kids from the other side of town made. It sounded like a good idea until Timmy pointed out that Big Johnny is in their gang. That took the wind out of our sails pretty quick! That guy is HUGE, and I bet he has to shave like twice a day. So we built stinkbombapults in case they decide to raid us.