I got clobbered at volleyball practice today, because I was watching the cheerleaders practice nearby -- mainly Peyton Schwartz, but they all look amazing. I'm really jealous of Carter, the only guy cheerleader. He gets to lift the girls up by their butts and all sorts of stuff! I have no idea how he manages to concentrate on the routines.

There's this totally cute new girl at school! Her name is Riley Clements and she's fantastic. I mean, she's a little weird; her mom packs her these gross organic lunches, and if she even smells a peanut, she gets all swollen and has to lie down, but she's still awesome. I wonder if she's into tanning chickens? I dunno. How do you talk to girls?