Mom made chocolate-chip cookies for dinner again. Yuck! She said I couldn't go play Mass Zone 5 until I'd cleaned my plate, so I had to choke it down. When I grow up I'm just gonna eat Wild Sweet Jewels for every meal!

You'll never guess what my buddy Andy Poole showed me after school today. He had this magazine that he said his dad keeps hidden under a mattress, and he totally stole it. So, he opens the magazine and there's this big fold-out poster in the middle, and... The poster was this big list of instructions for arranging ships in a bottle. I don't know why you'd hide a magazine like that, and I'm not sure why I was so disappointed. Go fig.