Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Louis "The Knickerbocker" Symington, the Southern Officer and the Southern Gentleman

Hot: Bert Harris, the Guy Who Causes a Temperature-Related Desire to Remove All of One's Clothing

Cold: Glacier Holden Nite

Stench: Sam "Flatulator" Shannahan

Spooky: Unearthly Douglas "Abracadaver" Harrison

Sleazy: Alistair "Flagrant Jim" Moore, the Guy Who Was Kicked Out of the Frat House for Misogynistic Behavior

Crimbo: Billwen Topspinner, the Decorator

The Hoboverlord sez: I know Grandpa. Can't find it. Can't FIND the... watermelon.

Generate some more