| Life was hard as an orphan on the streets of Phlegm, without a uncle or daughter to teach you right from wrong. On the other hand, you wouldn't have grown up to be such a talented Thief otherwise. As you wandered the back alleys of Hamlet (and let's face it, most of that place is back alleys), a hand covered your mouth while a blade pushed gently at your ribs. You let yourself be dragged into a pitch-dark abandoned smithy. A sultry female voice introduced herself as Cornflower Dirge soul. She asked you to undertake a quest to recover a charwoman's lost kitten, Lucky. Reasoning it was the best quest you'd get until you leveled up a bit, you agreed to help. You had a good handle on it until you got lost in a dungeon -- all the walls looked exactly the same! You did find a sweet shillelagh +1 in a rakshasa's lair, though, and were able to intimidate some hobos into telling you where their boss's hideout was. Right before they stabbed you in the neck. Nevertheless, you fought your way through evil overlord's strip mall, dispatching dark elves left and right, and finally arrived at the throne room of the Ice King Unpleasantor. After a long and dramatic battle, you plunged your battleaxe into his foot. The entire dungeon unexpectedly began to collapse as soon as the evil pissant was dead, but you managed to escape with your life, and claimed your reward from the grateful people of Goldthwaitia.
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