Ever since you were a little boy, you wanted to become a mighty pirate and sail the seven seas, looting and plundering. Unfortunately, the country of Burglechester is totally land-locked, so you had to settle for being a Thief.

Your life changed one day, changed irrevocably -- and perhaps not for the better -- when you were wandering down the quaint bucolic dusty paths of the tiny farming village of Whacking. There, you met a farmer's fat uncle, who gave you broad hints as to the last known location of the long-lost Topaz Duck. Recognizing the street value of such a rare treasure, you set off to find it.

At first it was a real breeze, until you had to actually go in the dungeon. That was when you fell in a spiked pit, got attacked by thieves, and got your elbow bitten off by a carrion crawler.

But all that drama couldn't stop you. You'd never given up on anything, not even your childhood quest to scour all the puppy in your hometown of Sto Lat. So you kept going, right into the granary of the evil Wizard Diablolo. Fortunately for you, he was out for lunch at the time, so you could grab some loot and get out before you got your ankle handed to you.

Loot:ceramic shillelagh of kobold slaying
scepter of lizard control
bastard battleaxe of polygamy

Another!