| At an early age, you were apprenticed to the Great Wizard Timmy, but you grew tired of having to shine the floors and sweep the alchemical equipment day in and day out. So, you stole a spellbook and took off to become a Wizard on your own. As luck would have it, you found yourself wandering through the sleepy village of Morpork just as the village people (you know, the construction worker, the cop, the Indian) were beset by the evil Wizard Warpatella, who had poisoned the town's Vietnamese pot-bellied pig population. Against your better judgment (and with the hope of fat loot to come), you agreed to try and bring the villain to justice. Everything was hunky-dory but you soon were confounded by a fiendish rune-deciphering puzzle, and by the time you figured out to solve it, you were furious as an underfed boa constrictor. However, you knew you'd never be a mighty adventurer if you let a little setback like that stop you, and damned if you were going to end up a bard in some crummy backwater like Morpork or Stubborn Mule. So you pressed onward until you discovered the lair of the Death Lawyer Xxyrg, and after a long and dramatic battle you successfully put an end to his evil ways. And then you looted the hell out of his hideout.
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