| Lacking the patience to be a Mage and the brawn to be a Fighter, you decided to be the next best thing: a professional chef. Sadly, your recipe for poached spareribs was unappreciated by the plebes in your tiny hometown of Spazmotic, so you became a professional Thief instead. At the tiny tavern on the outskirts of the Village of Cold Crick, you were trapped in a conversation with a man who had clearly had more than his fill of jell-o shots. He told you about the great plague of swine that had beset the entire region of Keaton, and of the rumor that the evil Witchlord Blackfist was the source of the unpleasantness. You resolved to find the villain and dispatch him, mostly to get the drunk guy to shut up. Everything was going great until you got your head caught in a beartrap and had to gnaw it off to escape. Fortunately, you don't need that to be a hero... but you will sort of miss it. However, you managed to overcome the odds (and your injuries), and after a lengthy crawl through a pyramid infested with jocks, you finally came upon the lair of the Ice Troll Mephistor, who was guarding the object of your quest. The evil fiend fell before your sack of doorknobs, and the land was finally free of his foul shenanigans. You made your way back to civilization, and basked in the glory of your success (and the reward money).
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