| Ever since you were a little boy, you wanted to become a mighty pirate and sail the seven seas, looting and plundering. Unfortunately, the country of Flanders is totally land-locked, so you had to settle for being a Thief. In the fiefdom of Marmosettia, in the unpleasant-smelling backwater of Klatch, you found an inn with cheap zima and spent the night carousing. There, you heard a tale of the forgotten treasure of the Amethyst Woods, lost for ages during the time of the great unpleasantness. You decided to seek the treasure yourself, heedless of the literal mountain of skeletons of those who had tried before you. There was no drama in the LBC up until the part where you found yourself trapped between a succubus and a gelatinous cube, with a puce slaad bearing down upon you. That strawberry was pretty delicious, but it's didn't really make up for the damage to your eye. But, you put on your brave face, and made your way through the caverns and caves to where the Demon Wizard Krampus held court over his horde of cunning hobos, and with uncountable swings of your bardiche (and a few well-placed attacks of opportunity), you finally slew the horrible douchewad and rode back to town to claim your glory (and reward).
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