| As a baby you were stolen from your parents by a band of gangsters and raised in a dark and wild factory. They regarded you as one of their own, but the time came for you to make your own name as a professional Thief. Your life changed one day, changed irrevocably -- and perhaps not for the better -- when you were wandering down the quaint bucolic dusty paths of the tiny farming village of Morpork. There, you met a knight's drunken grandfather, who gave you broad hints as to the last known location of the long-lost Diamond Beaver. Recognizing the street value of such a rare treasure, you set off to find it. You were doing a swell job until you got your throat caught in a lava pool and had to gnaw it off to escape. Fortunately, you don't need that to be a hero... but you will sort of miss it. But, unwilling to let that keep you from glory, you gritted your teeth and wielded your shillelagh, and cut your way through the hordes of skeletons that stood between you and your goal. At last you found the lair of Grim Necromancer Morgar, who quite unexpectedly turned out to be your long-lost homie, but you killed the butthole anyway. And thus was the land freed from tyranny, and you earned yourself a fat reward!
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