| Life was hard as a young man growing up in the city of Calamaria, and it became even harder when you had your heart stolen by a underdeveloped, ugly seamstress. You became a Thief, in order to steal it back (with interest). In the fiefdom of Waxton, in the unpleasant-smelling backwater of Mondale, you found an inn with cheap stout and spent the night carousing. There, you heard a tale of the forgotten treasure of the Amethyst Oceans, lost for ages during the time of the great Salmon Wars. You decided to seek the treasure yourself, heedless of the literal mountain of skeletons of those who had tried before you. You had a good handle on it until you got attacked by more gypsies than you could handle. You were lucky to get out of there with your arm intact! Fortunately, "giving up" isn't in your dictionary (probably because it's two words), so you persevered. You fought your way through countless hobos and bandits -- even a mimic! But eventually you found the lair of the sinister Dragon Devil Lord Talonpelican, and were able to defeat him by knocking him into a sphere of annihilation with a lucky critical hit. Bruised but successful, you made it back to the nearby city of Hambonia and claimed your reward.
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