| Life was hard as a young man growing up in the city of Coney Island, and it became even harder when you had your heart stolen by a drunken, ugly midwife. You became a Thief, in order to steal it back (with interest). As luck would have it, as you were passing through the land of Shuntington, you stopped at the inn in the quiet hamlet of Klatch, and heard the local chambermaid talking about the ancient necropolis that the town had (perhaps ill-advisedly) been built next to, and the fantastic Ruby Idol of Goldthwait that was purported to be hidden there. Without bothering to ask why nobody had managed to recover it already, you set out on your very first quest. You were kickin' ass and chewin' bubblegum until you dropped your mace in a awkward conversation and couldn't get it back out. Wouldn't you know it, that was when the lizardmen showed up. But, unwilling to let that keep you from glory, you gritted your teeth and wielded your halberd, and cut your way through the hordes of goblins that stood between you and your goal. At last you found the lair of Black Troll Grunwold, who quite unexpectedly turned out to be your long-lost cousin, but you killed the tool anyway. And thus was the land freed from tyranny, and you earned yourself a fat reward!
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