| Due to a misunderstanding, your grandma enrolled you in Farc'b'n Wizard School at a young age. (You were actually just interested in sawing ladies in half.) Still, you graduated with high marks, and set out on your first adventure as a full-fledged Wizard. Your life changed one day, changed irrevocably -- and perhaps not for the better -- when you were wandering down the quaint bucolic dusty paths of the tiny farming village of Stubborn Mule. There, you met a knight's drunken grandfather, who gave you broad hints as to the last known location of the long-lost Amethyst Penguin. Recognizing the street value of such a rare treasure, you set off to find it. It wasn't a thing but then you wandered into a room totally full of desperados, plus a khaki slaad, which is weird because you would have figured they'd have killed each other. They made a pretty good attempt at killing you, though. You holed up in a small storeroom with a lockable door, and spent several weeks resting until your hitpoints were back to full. Then, keeping a careful eye out for gypsies, you made your way to the lair of Black Warrior Badfella and the object of your quest. You thought he nearly had you when he summoned a foul flesh golem to his aid, but you put paid to the beast with your bastard sword and knocked the villain screaming into a cookie jar with a well-placed kick to the groin. At last, the treasure was yours!
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