| Lacking the patience to be a Mage and the brawn to be a Fighter, you decided to be the next best thing: a professional chef. Sadly, your recipe for diced deep-fried french fries was unappreciated by the plebes in your tiny hometown of Piehole, so you became a professional Thief instead. One fateful day, you were strolling through the quiet village of Sto Lat when you met the town barber. That worthy begged you to try and rescue the Lord of Claremont's homely homie, who had been kidnapped by gunslingers. Having little to do except save the world from an evil sorcerer or whatever, you took the quest. At first it was a real breeze, until you got your bung caught in a beartrap and had to gnaw it off to escape. Fortunately, you don't need that to be a hero... but you will sort of miss it. Fortunately, "giving up" isn't in your dictionary (probably because it's two words), so you persevered. You fought your way through countless bandits and skeletons -- even a mind flayer! But eventually you found the lair of the sinister Shadow Marquis Scabchicken, and were able to defeat him by knocking him into a antlion pit with a lucky critical hit. Bruised but successful, you made it back to the nearby city of Bale and claimed your reward.
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