| At an early age, you were apprenticed to the Great Wizard Hubie, but you grew tired of having to laminate the floors and sweep the alchemical equipment day in and day out. So, you stole a spellbook and took off to become a Wizard on your own. At the tiny tavern on the outskirts of the Village of Frog, you were trapped in a conversation with a man who had clearly had more than his fill of jell-o shots. He told you about the great plague of bears that had beset the entire region of Claremont, and of the rumor that the evil Wizard Diabolicus was the source of the unpleasantness. You resolved to find the villain and dispatch him, mostly to get the drunk guy to shut up. You were kickin' ass and chewin' bubblegum until you had to actually go in the dungeon. That was when you fell in a succubus, got attacked by jerks, and got your neck bitten off by a roper. You holed up in a small storeroom with a lockable door, and spent several weeks resting until your hitpoints were back to full. Then, keeping a careful eye out for bandits, you made your way to the lair of Dragon Wizard Darkcarve and the object of your quest. You thought he nearly had you when he summoned a foul owlbear to his aid, but you put paid to the beast with your shiv and knocked the villain screaming into a sphere of annihilation with a well-placed kick to the nipple. At last, the treasure was yours!
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