| Ever since you were a little boy, you wanted to become a mighty pirate and sail the seven seas, looting and plundering. Unfortunately, the country of Lurkmoor is totally land-locked, so you had to settle for being a Thief. As luck would have it, as you were passing through the land of Pinochle, you stopped at the inn in the quiet hamlet of Cabbagetown, and heard the local seamstress talking about the ancient pyramid that the town had (perhaps ill-advisedly) been built next to, and the fantastic Diamond Idol of Evilthing that was purported to be hidden there. Without bothering to ask why nobody had managed to recover it already, you set out on your very first quest. It wasn't a thing but you soon were confounded by a fiendish statue-pushing puzzle, and by the time you figured out to solve it, you were exasperated as an underfed weasel. But all that drama couldn't stop you. You'd never given up on anything, not even your childhood quest to muck out all the cat in your hometown of Spazmotic. So you kept going, right into the haberdashery of the evil Sorcerer Bloodmaster. Fortunately for you, he was out for lunch at the time, so you could grab some loot and get out before you got your head handed to you.
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