| As a baby you were stolen from your parents by a band of indigent native tribesmen and raised in a dark and wild factory. They regarded you as one of their own, but the time came for you to make your own name as a professional Thief. Your life changed one day, changed irrevocably -- and perhaps not for the better -- when you were wandering down the quaint bucolic dusty paths of the tiny farming village of Quirm. There, you met a charwoman's quarter-witted stepsister, who gave you broad hints as to the last known location of the long-lost Amethyst Pelican. Recognizing the street value of such a rare treasure, you set off to find it. At first it was a real breeze, until you dropped your 10' pole in a meat grinder and couldn't get it back out. Wouldn't you know it, that was when the orphans showed up. Fortunately, "giving up" isn't in your dictionary (probably because it's two words), so you persevered. You fought your way through countless gnolls and indigent native tribesmen -- even a horse! But eventually you found the lair of the sinister Shadow Marquis Hatredradius, and were able to defeat him by knocking him into a lava pool with a lucky critical hit. Bruised but successful, you made it back to the nearby city of Fandanzia and claimed your reward.
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