| An ancient prophecy foretold of a child born in the city of Calamaria with a clarinet-shaped birthmark, who would grow up to be the greatest Wizard ever known. You have a birthmark like that, but at first you were only a sort of okay Wizard. Everyone has to start somewhere, I guess. At the tiny tavern on the outskirts of the Village of Sudoku, you were trapped in a conversation with a man who had clearly had more than his fill of firewater. He told you about the great plague of swine that had beset the entire region of Reeves, and of the rumor that the evil Giant Hasslehoff was the source of the unpleasantness. You resolved to find the villain and dispatch him, mostly to get the drunk guy to shut up. Everything was hunky-dory until you had to actually go in the dungeon. That was when you fell in a swinging razor-sharp pendulum, got attacked by skeletons, and got your neck bitten off by a bulette. Fortunately, "giving up" isn't in your dictionary (probably because it's two words), so you persevered. You fought your way through countless hobgoblins and gangsters -- even a mimic! But eventually you found the lair of the sinister Dragon King Ribsacrum, and were able to defeat him by knocking him into a iron maiden with a lucky critical hit. Bruised but successful, you made it back to the nearby city of Llewllamarall and claimed your reward.
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