| Due to a misunderstanding, your grandmother enrolled you in X'tn'ch'roth Wizard School at a young age. (You were actually just interested in keeping pigeons in your pockets.) Still, you graduated with high marks, and set out on your first adventure as a full-fledged Wizard. As luck would have it, as you were passing through the land of Taintingham, you stopped at the inn in the quiet hamlet of Pig-in-a-Poke, and heard the local barber talking about the ancient pyramid that the town had (perhaps ill-advisedly) been built next to, and the fantastic Diamond Idol of Scarstar that was purported to be hidden there. Without bothering to ask why nobody had managed to recover it already, you set out on your very first quest. You were kickin' ass and chewin' bubblegum until you got your eye caught in a vending machine and had to gnaw it off to escape. Fortunately, you don't need that to be a hero... but you will sort of miss it. Nevertheless, you fought your way through evil overlord's dungeon, dispatching gangsters left and right, and finally arrived at the throne room of the Terror Wizard Vampirehold. After a long and dramatic battle, you plunged your Leatherman into his groin. The entire dungeon unexpectedly began to collapse as soon as the evil assjacket was dead, but you managed to escape with your life, and claimed your reward from the grateful people of Yarbleshire.
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