| You always knew that the village of Phlegm wasn't big enough for you -- after all, it was just the one hut, and it was a small one. So, when you came of age, you decided to make a name for yourself as a Fighter. (You parents never gave you a name. You were hoping for "Earl".) As luck would have it, you found yourself wandering through the sleepy village of Stubborn Mule just as the village people (you know, the construction worker, the cop, the Indian) were beset by the evil Knight Hasslehoff, who had poisoned the town's sugar glider population. Against your better judgment (and with the hope of fat loot to come), you agreed to try and bring the villain to justice. You were doing really well up until the part where you found yourself trapped between a spiked pit and a succubus, with a owlbear bearing down upon you. That strawberry was pretty delicious, but it's didn't really make up for the damage to your eye. But, unwilling to let that keep you from glory, you gritted your teeth and wielded your entrenching tool, and cut your way through the hordes of dire dwarves that stood between you and your goal. At last you found the lair of Frost Knight Hateskull, who quite unexpectedly turned out to be your long-lost aunt, but you killed the asshat anyway. And thus was the land freed from tyranny, and you earned yourself a fat reward!
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