| Ever since you were a child in the meager village of Cabbagetown, you wanted to become a great Wizard and learn the great mysteries of the universe, such as why 'abbreviated' is such a long word. The answer turned out to not be very interesting, but by that time you were a Wizard anyway. In the fiefdom of Blackbury Grove, in the unpleasant-smelling backwater of Dogspittle, you found an inn with cheap lager and spent the night carousing. There, you heard a tale of the forgotten treasure of the Silver River, lost for ages during the time of the great rain of %pluralanimals. You decided to seek the treasure yourself, heedless of the literal mountain of skeletons of those who had tried before you. You weren't having any problems at first, but you didn't expect to have to bareknuckle-fight all those badgers. That gazebo picked the total worst time to eat your pike. But, unwilling to let that keep you from glory, you gritted your teeth and wielded your teddy bear, and cut your way through the hordes of accountants that stood between you and your goal. At last you found the lair of Terror Sorcerer Diabolicus, who quite unexpectedly turned out to be your long-lost grandmother, but you killed the tool anyway. And thus was the land freed from tyranny, and you earned yourself a fat reward!
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