| Lacking the patience to be a Mage and the brawn to be a Fighter, you decided to be the next best thing: a professional chef. Sadly, your recipe for fricasseed baked tomatoes was unappreciated by the plebes in your tiny hometown of Sudoku, so you became a professional Thief instead. As luck would have it, you found yourself wandering through the sleepy village of Dumpington just as the village people (you know, the construction worker, the cop, the Indian) were beset by the evil Marquis Vampireforbidden, who had poisoned the town's budgie population. Against your better judgment (and with the hope of fat loot to come), you agreed to try and bring the villain to justice. At first it was a real breeze, until you dropped your halberd in a awkward conversation and couldn't get it back out. Wouldn't you know it, that was when the dire dwarves showed up. Fortunately, "giving up" isn't in your dictionary (probably because it's two words), so you persevered. You fought your way through countless lizardmen and desperados -- even a heliotrope slaad! But eventually you found the lair of the sinister Demon Knight Krampus, and were able to defeat him by knocking him into a swinging razor-sharp pendulum with a lucky critical hit. Bruised but successful, you made it back to the nearby city of Glameroth and claimed your reward.
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