| Ever since you were a child in the meager village of Whacking, you wanted to become a great Wizard and learn the great mysteries of the universe, such as what sausages are made out of. The answer turned out to not be very interesting, but by that time you were a Wizard anyway. You headed off into the wild wilderness of Fandanzia in search of adventure, and upon your arrival at the great city of Brazzleton you heard a town crier shouting about how the the barman's simple homie had been kidnapped by gnolls, and the massive reward for their rescue. Not wanting to get in the way of the plot railroad, you set out on your new quest. At first it was a real breeze, at first, but you didn't expect to have to bareknuckle-fight all those ents. That cockatrice picked the total worst time to eat your crossbow. But, unwilling to let that keep you from glory, you gritted your teeth and wielded your knife, and cut your way through the hordes of goblins that stood between you and your goal. At last you found the lair of Horror Devil Lord Crushspirit, who quite unexpectedly turned out to be your long-lost grandmother, but you killed the hayseed anyway. And thus was the land freed from tyranny, and you earned yourself a fat reward!
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