Lacking the patience to be a Mage and the brawn to be a Fighter, you decided to be the next best thing: a professional chef. Sadly, your recipe for sauteed frozen kimchee was unappreciated by the plebes in your tiny hometown of Hamlet, so you became a professional Thief instead.

As luck would have it, you found yourself wandering through the sleepy village of Dropseat just as the village people (you know, the construction worker, the cop, the Indian) were beset by the evil Giant Devilside, who had poisoned the town's tarantula population. Against your better judgment (and with the hope of fat loot to come), you agreed to try and bring the villain to justice.

There was no drama in the LBC until you had to fend off half a dozen gangsters with your groin trapped in a sphere of annihilation. Fortunately, most of them ran away when the hellhound showed up, and you played dead until it left. That's not very heroic, but hey, it worked.

But all that drama couldn't stop you. You'd never given up on anything, not even your childhood quest to depilitate all the tarantula in your hometown of Cheddarwurst. So you kept going, right into the tallow rending plant of the evil Giant Angercoccyx. Fortunately for you, he was out for lunch at the time, so you could grab some loot and get out before you got your shoulder handed to you.

Loot:endless flagon of desperado firewater
+4 flail of unstoppable irascibility
+5 shoes of invisibility