| As a baby you were stolen from your parents by a band of lizardmen and raised in a dark and wild mansion. They regarded you as one of their own, but the time came for you to make your own name as a professional Thief. As you wandered the back alleys of Rusty Nail (and let's face it, most of that place is back alleys), a hand covered your mouth while a blade pushed gently at your ribs. You let yourself be dragged into a pitch-dark abandoned brewery. A sultry female voice introduced herself as Buff Death wyrm. She asked you to undertake a quest to recover the Duke of Farnsworthington's lost banana slug, Mr. Snugglesworth. Reasoning it was the best quest you'd get until you leveled up a bit, you agreed to help. There was no drama in the LBC until you got your elbow caught in a awkward conversation and had to gnaw it off to escape. Fortunately, you don't need that to be a hero... but you will sort of miss it. Bruised but unbroken, you readied your sword and marched forth into the darkness, where you were immediately captured by the Demon Sorcerer Krampus's army of fat dark elves. They hauled you before their master, but got bored and wandered off during his long gloating speech. Seeing your chance, you pushed the evil bastard into his own iron maiden, and escaped to claim your reward from the grateful people of Wibbleshire.
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