| Life was hard as a young man growing up in the city of Coney Island, and it became even harder when you had your heart stolen by a quarter-witted, ugly serf. You became a Thief, in order to steal it back (with interest). In the fiefdom of Burblegroat, in the unpleasant-smelling backwater of Dropseat, you found an inn with cheap root beer and spent the night carousing. There, you heard a tale of the forgotten treasure of the Silver Mountains, lost for ages during the time of the great unpleasantness. You decided to seek the treasure yourself, heedless of the literal mountain of skeletons of those who had tried before you. It wasn't a thing until you got attacked by more desperados than you could handle. You were lucky to get out of there with your groin intact! Bruised but unbroken, you readied your entrenching tool and marched forth into the darkness, where you were immediately captured by the Horror Knight Diablolo's army of homely jocks. They hauled you before their master, but got bored and wandered off during his long gloating speech. Seeing your chance, you pushed the evil yokel into his own sphere of annihilation, and escaped to claim your reward from the grateful people of Keaton.
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