As a baby you were stolen from your parents by a band of jocks and raised in a dark and wild mansion. They regarded you as one of their own, but the time came for you to make your own name as a professional Thief.

At the tiny tavern on the outskirts of the Village of Piehole, you were trapped in a conversation with a man who had clearly had more than his fill of jell-o shots. He told you about the great plague of kittens that had beset the entire region of Calamaria, and of the rumor that the evil Necromancer Rageforgotten was the source of the unpleasantness. You resolved to find the villain and dispatch him, mostly to get the drunk guy to shut up.

You were rocking the house until you dropped your "Rod of Lordly Might" (if you know what I mean) in a gelatinous cube and couldn't get it back out. Wouldn't you know it, that was when the gnolls showed up.

But, unwilling to let that keep you from glory, you gritted your teeth and wielded your spear, and cut your way through the hordes of gypsies that stood between you and your goal. At last you found the lair of Ice Troll Evilthing, who quite unexpectedly turned out to be your long-lost cousin, but you killed the smartass anyway. And thus was the land freed from tyranny, and you earned yourself a fat reward!

Loot:bag of limitless invisibility
fishy spyglass of irascibility
endless flagon of jerk firewater

Another!