| Ever since you were a child in the meager village of Malph, you wanted to become a great Wizard and learn the great mysteries of the universe, such as why old sitcoms are never as good as you remember them being. The answer turned out to not be very interesting, but by that time you were a Wizard anyway. As you wandered the back alleys of Dogspittle (and let's face it, most of that place is back alleys), a hand covered your mouth while a blade pushed gently at your ribs. You let yourself be dragged into a pitch-dark abandoned brewery. A sultry female voice introduced herself as Green Dread crest. She asked you to undertake a quest to recover a knight's lost guinea pig, Mrs. Cuddles. Reasoning it was the best quest you'd get until you leveled up a bit, you agreed to help. It was pretty easy, until you had to fend off half a dozen thieves with your face trapped in a awkward conversation. Fortunately, most of them ran away when the rakshasa showed up, and you played dead until it left. That's not very heroic, but hey, it worked. Fortunately, "giving up" isn't in your dictionary (probably because it's two words), so you persevered. You fought your way through countless badgers and indigent native tribesmen -- even a bugbear! But eventually you found the lair of the sinister Fire Wizard Diabolicus, and were able to defeat him by knocking him into a iron maiden with a lucky critical hit. Bruised but successful, you made it back to the nearby city of Burblegroat and claimed your reward.
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