| Life was hard as a young man growing up in the city of Waxton, and it became even harder when you had your heart stolen by a red-headed, drunken squire. You became a Thief, in order to steal it back (with interest). As luck would have it, as you were passing through the land of Glameroth, you stopped at the inn in the quiet hamlet of Pig-in-a-Poke, and heard the local serf talking about the ancient dungeon that the town had (perhaps ill-advisedly) been built next to, and the fantastic Diamond Idol of Unpleasantor that was purported to be hidden there. Without bothering to ask why nobody had managed to recover it already, you set out on your very first quest. You had a good handle on it until you dropped your scythe in a beartrap and couldn't get it back out. Wouldn't you know it, that was when the orcs showed up. Fortunately, "giving up" isn't in your dictionary (probably because it's two words), so you persevered. You fought your way through countless jerks and jerks -- even a cockatrice! But eventually you found the lair of the sinister Vampire Troll Screamingswift, and were able to defeat him by knocking him into a lava pool with a lucky critical hit. Bruised but successful, you made it back to the nearby city of Nickelodeon and claimed your reward.
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