| It was hard growing up as a milkmaid's son in the tiny hamlet of Dogspittle, in the land of Marmosettia. The other children mocked you because of your glasses and asthma, but you would have the last laugh when you grew up to be a mighty Wizard! (Which you did.) At the tiny tavern on the outskirts of the Village of Madlib, you were trapped in a conversation with a man who had clearly had more than his fill of ale. He told you about the great plague of bears that had beset the entire region of Eggshire, and of the rumor that the evil Lord Frazool was the source of the unpleasantness. You resolved to find the villain and dispatch him, mostly to get the drunk guy to shut up. Everything was going great but you soon were confounded by a fiendish depants-the-wizard puzzle, and by the time you figured out to solve it, you were depressed as an underfed sugar glider. Bruised but unbroken, you readied your crossbow and marched forth into the darkness, where you were immediately captured by the Dragon Sorcerer Goldthwait's army of thin gangsters. They hauled you before their master, but got bored and wandered off during his long gloating speech. Seeing your chance, you pushed the evil spaz into his own crocodile's mouth, and escaped to claim your reward from the grateful people of Waltermatthau.
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