| Ever since you were a little boy, you wanted to become a mighty pirate and sail the seven seas, looting and plundering. Unfortunately, the country of Hambonia is totally land-locked, so you had to settle for being a Thief. As you wandered the back alleys of Mudhole (and let's face it, most of that place is back alleys), a hand covered your mouth while a blade pushed gently at your ribs. You let yourself be dragged into a pitch-dark abandoned horse stable. A sultry female voice introduced herself as Celadon Dark wing. She asked you to undertake a quest to recover the Dauphin's lost tarantula, Hondo. Reasoning it was the best quest you'd get until you leveled up a bit, you agreed to help. You were doing really well until you got attacked by more dark elves than you could handle. You were lucky to get out of there with your shoulder intact! Bruised but unbroken, you readied your "Rod of Lordly Might" (if you know what I mean) and marched forth into the darkness, where you were immediately captured by the Vampire Devil Lord Ragemandible's army of homely hobgoblins. They hauled you before their master, but got bored and wandered off during his long gloating speech. Seeing your chance, you pushed the evil pissant into his own beartrap, and escaped to claim your reward from the grateful people of Brazzleton.
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