| As a baby you were stolen from your parents by a band of skeletons and raised in a dark and wild quarry. They regarded you as one of their own, but the time came for you to make your own name as a professional Thief. In the fiefdom of Schmalbion, in the unpleasant-smelling backwater of Malph, you found an inn with cheap stout and spent the night carousing. There, you heard a tale of the forgotten treasure of the Azure Canyons, lost for ages during the time of the great flood. You decided to seek the treasure yourself, heedless of the literal mountain of skeletons of those who had tried before you. You were rocking the house until you dropped your dagger in a vending machine and couldn't get it back out. Wouldn't you know it, that was when the kobolds showed up. Bruised but unbroken, you readied your flail and marched forth into the darkness, where you were immediately captured by the Skull Sorcerer Fangancient's army of quarter-witted desperados. They hauled you before their master, but got bored and wandered off during his long gloating speech. Seeing your chance, you pushed the evil slack-jawed yokel into his own spiked pit, and escaped to claim your reward from the grateful people of Crunkleton.
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