| After your quiet hometown of Deaf Chicken was attacked by badgers and, despite your young age, you were forced to take up arms to defend it, you decided that the life of a Fighter was the life you were looking for. It would be a long and difficult road, but it sure beat the heck out of being a tavernkeep like your grandfather wanted. Your life changed one day, changed irrevocably -- and perhaps not for the better -- when you were wandering down the quaint bucolic dusty paths of the tiny farming village of Pittsburgh. There, you met an inkeeper's sexy second cousin, who gave you broad hints as to the last known location of the long-lost Amethyst Pig. Recognizing the street value of such a rare treasure, you set off to find it. You were doing really well but you soon were confounded by a fiendish escort-the-fragile-toddler puzzle, and by the time you figured out to solve it, you were crestfallen as an underfed sugar glider. However, you knew you'd never be a mighty adventurer if you let a little setback like that stop you, and damned if you were going to end up a cook in some crummy backwater like Cold Crick or Sto Lat. So you pressed onward until you discovered the lair of the Horror Overlord Deathwind, and after a long and dramatic battle you successfully put an end to his evil ways. And then you looted the hell out of his hideout.
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