| As a baby you were stolen from your parents by a band of barbarians and raised in a dark and wild quarry. They regarded you as one of their own, but the time came for you to make your own name as a professional Thief. As you wandered the back alleys of Klatch (and let's face it, most of that place is back alleys), a hand covered your mouth while a blade pushed gently at your ribs. You let yourself be dragged into a pitch-dark abandoned owlry. A sultry female voice introduced herself as Lemon Dirge raven. She asked you to undertake a quest to recover the village idiot's lost marmoset, Mr. Snugglesworth. Reasoning it was the best quest you'd get until you leveled up a bit, you agreed to help. You were rocking the house but you soon were confounded by a fiendish rune-deciphering puzzle, and by the time you figured out to solve it, you were mad as an underfed dog. Fortunately, "giving up" isn't in your dictionary (probably because it's two words), so you persevered. You fought your way through countless barbarians and gangsters -- even a bugbear! But eventually you found the lair of the sinister Dark King Diabolicus, and were able to defeat him by knocking him into a succubus with a lucky critical hit. Bruised but successful, you made it back to the nearby city of Llewllamarall and claimed your reward.
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