| It was hard growing up as a barber's son in the tiny hamlet of Dogspittle, in the land of Shuntington. The other children mocked you because of your glasses and asthma, but you would have the last laugh when you grew up to be a mighty Wizard! (Which you did.) As luck would have it, as you were passing through the land of Flansburgh, you stopped at the inn in the quiet hamlet of Dogspittle, and heard the local "seamstress" talking about the ancient crypt that the town had (perhaps ill-advisedly) been built next to, and the fantastic Azure Idol of Diabolico that was purported to be hidden there. Without bothering to ask why nobody had managed to recover it already, you set out on your very first quest. You weren't having any problems until you dropped your "Rod of Lordly Might" (if you know what I mean) in a meat grinder and couldn't get it back out. Wouldn't you know it, that was when the barbarians showed up. You holed up in a small storeroom with a lockable door, and spent several weeks resting until your hitpoints were back to full. Then, keeping a careful eye out for orphans, you made your way to the lair of Fire Overlord Diabolicus and the object of your quest. You thought he nearly had you when he summoned a foul beholder to his aid, but you put paid to the beast with your sack of doorknobs and knocked the villain screaming into a iron maiden with a well-placed kick to the knee. At last, the treasure was yours!
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