| At an early age, you were apprenticed to the Great Wizard J. R., but you grew tired of having to depilitate the floors and wash the alchemical equipment day in and day out. So, you stole a spellbook and took off to become a Wizard on your own. As luck would have it, you found yourself wandering through the sleepy village of Hamlet just as the village people (you know, the construction worker, the cop, the Indian) were beset by the evil Lord Evilthing, who had poisoned the town's earwig population. Against your better judgment (and with the hope of fat loot to come), you agreed to try and bring the villain to justice. Everything was hunky-dory at first, but you didn't expect to have to bareknuckle-fight all those gypsies. That horse picked the total worst time to eat your dagger. Nevertheless, you fought your way through evil overlord's strip mall, dispatching bullywugs left and right, and finally arrived at the throne room of the Vampire Warrior Dave. After a long and dramatic battle, you plunged your handaxe into his groin. The entire dungeon unexpectedly began to collapse as soon as the evil twit was dead, but you managed to escape with your life, and claimed your reward from the grateful people of New Brunswick.
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