| When you were growing up in the little town of Pig-in-a-Poke, you always wanted to be a mighty Astronaut. You ended up being a Fighter instead, because you didn't have the right prime requisites. One fateful day, you were strolling through the quiet village of Foobar when you met the town squire. That worthy begged you to try and rescue the Earl of Routh's comely homie, who had been kidnapped by gunslingers. Having little to do except save the world from an evil sorcerer or whatever, you took the quest. You had a good handle on it until you had to fend off half a dozen skeletons with your kidney trapped in a meat grinder. Fortunately, most of them ran away when the mimic showed up, and you played dead until it left. That's not very heroic, but hey, it worked. You holed up in a small storeroom with a lockable door, and spent several weeks resting until your hitpoints were back to full. Then, keeping a careful eye out for dark elves, you made your way to the lair of Vampire Barbarian Morgar and the object of your quest. You thought he nearly had you when he summoned a foul mind flayer to his aid, but you put paid to the beast with your longbow and knocked the villain screaming into a iron maiden with a well-placed kick to the eye. At last, the treasure was yours!
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