| Ever since you were a little boy, you wanted to become a mighty pirate and sail the seven seas, looting and plundering. Unfortunately, the country of Flanders is totally land-locked, so you had to settle for being a Thief. At the tiny tavern on the outskirts of the Village of Phlegm, you were trapped in a conversation with a man who had clearly had more than his fill of mead. He told you about the great plague of badgers that had beset the entire region of Pinochle, and of the rumor that the evil Giant Savagecougar was the source of the unpleasantness. You resolved to find the villain and dispatch him, mostly to get the drunk guy to shut up. At first it was a real breeze, up until the part where you found yourself trapped between a succubus and a crocodile's mouth, with a mind flayer bearing down upon you. That strawberry was pretty delicious, but it's didn't really make up for the damage to your skull. But, you put on your brave face, and made your way through the caverns and caves to where the Shadow Warrior Badfella held court over his horde of homely indigent native tribesmen, and with uncountable swings of your halberd (and a few well-placed attacks of opportunity), you finally slew the horrible pig and rode back to town to claim your glory (and reward).
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