| Even though you were a drunken child, you always wanted to become a Fighter, like your father and his father before him. You got your wish when your hometown of Dogspittle was attacked by a horde of Black Cheetahs. You got your thigh handed to you, but it cemented your desire to fight. Your life changed one day, changed irrevocably -- and perhaps not for the better -- when you were wandering down the quaint bucolic dusty paths of the tiny farming village of Mondale. There, you met the Marquis of Wibbleford's red-headed daughter, who gave you broad hints as to the last known location of the long-lost Emerald Hamster. Recognizing the street value of such a rare treasure, you set off to find it. Everything was going great until you dropped your morningstar in a beartrap and couldn't get it back out. Wouldn't you know it, that was when the badgers showed up. However, you knew you'd never be a mighty adventurer if you let a little setback like that stop you, and damned if you were going to end up a village idiot in some crummy backwater like Sto Lat or Madlib. So you pressed onward until you discovered the lair of the Shadow King Hatepatella, and after a long and dramatic battle you successfully put an end to his evil ways. And then you looted the hell out of his hideout.
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