| Ever since you were a little boy, you wanted to become a mighty pirate and sail the seven seas, looting and plundering. Unfortunately, the country of Farnsworthington is totally land-locked, so you had to settle for being a Thief. At the tiny tavern on the outskirts of the Village of Cowpat, you were trapped in a conversation with a man who had clearly had more than his fill of sarsaparilla. He told you about the great plague of chipmunks that had beset the entire region of Phleberron, and of the rumor that the evil Lawyer Deathdouble was the source of the unpleasantness. You resolved to find the villain and dispatch him, mostly to get the drunk guy to shut up. You were rocking the house at first, but you didn't expect to have to bareknuckle-fight all those kobolds. That cordovan slaad picked the total worst time to eat your sack of doorknobs. Nevertheless, you fought your way through evil overlord's dungeon, dispatching orphans left and right, and finally arrived at the throne room of the Fire Marquis Englebert. After a long and dramatic battle, you plunged your flail into his bung. The entire dungeon unexpectedly began to collapse as soon as the evil bimbo was dead, but you managed to escape with your life, and claimed your reward from the grateful people of Sepiabury Grove.
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