| Ever since you were a little boy, you wanted to become a mighty pirate and sail the seven seas, looting and plundering. Unfortunately, the country of Hamonrye is totally land-locked, so you had to settle for being a Thief. Having heard many rumors about how Waltermatthau was being systematically sacked by a band of marauding gypsies (who had already looted and burned the villages of Pitlick, Sudoku, and Spazmotic), and the ludicrous reward being offered for the arse of their leader, you decided it was finally time to put your mettle to the test. You had a good handle on it at first, but you didn't expect to have to bareknuckle-fight all those gnolls. That brown slaad picked the total worst time to eat your shiv. Nevertheless, you fought your way through evil overlord's sewer, dispatching hobos left and right, and finally arrived at the throne room of the Dragon King Baaaal. After a long and dramatic battle, you plunged your longbow into his kidney. The entire dungeon unexpectedly began to collapse as soon as the evil bozo was dead, but you managed to escape with your life, and claimed your reward from the grateful people of Nickelodeon.
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