| Ever since you were a child in the meager village of Piehole, you wanted to become a great Wizard and learn the great mysteries of the universe, such as why 'abbreviated' is such a long word. The answer turned out to not be very interesting, but by that time you were a Wizard anyway. Your life changed one day, changed irrevocably -- and perhaps not for the better -- when you were wandering down the quaint bucolic dusty paths of the tiny farming village of Phlegm. There, you met a fisherman's homely cousin, who gave you broad hints as to the last known location of the long-lost Amethyst Tiger. Recognizing the street value of such a rare treasure, you set off to find it. You weren't having any problems at first, but you didn't expect to have to bareknuckle-fight all those accountants. That flesh golem picked the total worst time to eat your knife. But, unwilling to let that keep you from glory, you gritted your teeth and wielded your sword, and cut your way through the hordes of jerks that stood between you and your goal. At last you found the lair of Fire Necromancer Woundedulna, who quite unexpectedly turned out to be your long-lost grandmother, but you killed the buttface anyway. And thus was the land freed from tyranny, and you earned yourself a fat reward!
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