| Ever since you were a little boy, you wanted to become a mighty pirate and sail the seven seas, looting and plundering. Unfortunately, the country of Glameroth is totally land-locked, so you had to settle for being a Thief. Having heard many rumors about how Stoatsford was being systematically sacked by a band of marauding gangsters (who had already looted and burned the villages of Dogspittle, Flytrap, and Rusty Nail), and the ludicrous reward being offered for the bung of their leader, you decided it was finally time to put your mettle to the test. You weren't having any problems at first, but you didn't expect to have to bareknuckle-fight all those dire dwarves. That horse picked the total worst time to eat your mace. Fortunately, "giving up" isn't in your dictionary (probably because it's two words), so you persevered. You fought your way through countless lizardmen and bullywugs -- even a roper! But eventually you found the lair of the sinister Dragon Devil Lord Unpleasantor, and were able to defeat him by knocking him into a lava pool with a lucky critical hit. Bruised but successful, you made it back to the nearby city of Shamablamaroth and claimed your reward.
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