| You grew up on the clean streets of the great Gold City, where contrary to popular belief, the streets are mainly paved with horse dung. Well, at least in your neighborhood. Small wonder you grew up to be a professional Thief. One fateful day, you were strolling through the quiet village of Pitlick when you met the town farmhand. That worthy begged you to try and rescue a knight's cunning niece, who had been kidnapped by bandits. Having little to do except save the world from an evil sorcerer or whatever, you took the quest. Everything was hunky-dory at first, but you didn't expect to have to bareknuckle-fight all those accountants. That owlbear picked the total worst time to eat your pike. Bruised but unbroken, you readied your spear and marched forth into the darkness, where you were immediately captured by the Dark Lawyer Mawshark's army of golden-haired hobos. They hauled you before their master, but got bored and wandered off during his long gloating speech. Seeing your chance, you pushed the evil scrub into his own antlion pit, and escaped to claim your reward from the grateful people of Swampleton.
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