| Lacking the patience to be a Mage and the brawn to be a Fighter, you decided to be the next best thing: a professional chef. Sadly, your recipe for stir-fried flan was unappreciated by the plebes in your tiny hometown of Dogspittle, so you became a professional Thief instead. As luck would have it, you found yourself wandering through the sleepy village of Malph just as the village people (you know, the construction worker, the cop, the Indian) were beset by the evil Wizard Englebert, who had poisoned the town's puppy population. Against your better judgment (and with the hope of fat loot to come), you agreed to try and bring the villain to justice. You weren't having any problems up until the part where you found yourself trapped between a antlion pit and a swinging razor-sharp pendulum, with a rust monster bearing down upon you. That strawberry was pretty delicious, but it's didn't really make up for the damage to your eye. However, you knew you'd never be a mighty adventurer if you let a little setback like that stop you, and damned if you were going to end up a town crier in some crummy backwater like Pittsburgh or Molehill. So you pressed onward until you discovered the lair of the Blood Sorcerer Hasslehoff, and after a long and dramatic battle you successfully put an end to his evil ways. And then you looted the hell out of his hideout.
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