| It was hard growing up as a town crier's son in the tiny hamlet of Klatch, in the land of Cavill. The other children mocked you because of your glasses and asthma, but you would have the last laugh when you grew up to be a mighty Wizard! (Which you did.) As you wandered the back alleys of Cowpat (and let's face it, most of that place is back alleys), a hand covered your mouth while a blade pushed gently at your ribs. You let yourself be dragged into a pitch-dark abandoned convenience store. A sultry female voice introduced herself as Beige Night wind. She asked you to undertake a quest to recover the blacksmith's lost ferret, Mr. Snuggles. Reasoning it was the best quest you'd get until you leveled up a bit, you agreed to help. You weren't having any problems until you had to actually go in the dungeon. That was when you fell in a meat grinder, got attacked by jerks, and got your thigh bitten off by a hellhound. However, you knew you'd never be a mighty adventurer if you let a little setback like that stop you, and damned if you were going to end up a midwife in some crummy backwater like Cheddarwurst or Piehole. So you pressed onward until you discovered the lair of the Dark King Frazool, and after a long and dramatic battle you successfully put an end to his evil ways. And then you looted the hell out of his hideout.
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