| You grew up on the short streets of the great Amber City, where contrary to popular belief, the streets are mainly paved with horse dung. Well, at least in your neighborhood. Small wonder you grew up to be a professional Thief. As luck would have it, as you were passing through the land of Phleberron, you stopped at the inn in the quiet hamlet of Cheddarwurst, and heard the local milkmaid talking about the ancient tower that the town had (perhaps ill-advisedly) been built next to, and the fantastic Topaz Idol of Arc'klor that was purported to be hidden there. Without bothering to ask why nobody had managed to recover it already, you set out on your very first quest. You were doing really well until you got your nipple caught in a cookie jar and had to gnaw it off to escape. Fortunately, you don't need that to be a hero... but you will sort of miss it. Nevertheless, you fought your way through evil overlord's strip mall, dispatching gnolls left and right, and finally arrived at the throne room of the Blood Overlord Baaaal. After a long and dramatic battle, you plunged your teddy bear into his nipple. The entire dungeon unexpectedly began to collapse as soon as the evil tool was dead, but you managed to escape with your life, and claimed your reward from the grateful people of Claremont.
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