My mom totally spied through all my stuff and took all of the best issues of The Exploits of Perry and the Beige Swarm, can you believe it! I mean, sure, there's that scene where the guy gets his liver punched through with a railroad spike, but c'mon. I'm mature enough to handle that.

Amy Britt asked me to go to the Sladie Thompkins dance with her. I haven't decided. She's alright, I guess. She's funny, and kind of cute. It's better than not being asked at all. I'd rather go with Madison Carpenter, but she's going out Mr. Bigshot hockey star Avery Dominguez, so fat chance of that. He thinks he's so cool, but he's a huge jerk. I don't know what she sees in him.