It must be real exciting to get to fight ogres and monsters all the time! I've only ever seen one ogre -- Mr. Castillo, my Geography teacher. He's got a big pot belly and snaggly teeth and hair growing out of his ears and he's real grumpy all the time, so I'm pretty sure he's an ogre. He made me stay after class and tidy the blackboard because I couldn't remember the name of some dumb river. If you're ever in town, I'll find out where he lives so you can hit him with your sword. That'll teach him! Ha ha ha, see what I did there?

After school today, I went down to the corner store to buy some Spicy Spearmint Frogs and the new issue of Lost Zaxxon Gray vs. the Furious Invaders, but it turned out I didn't have any money! Mom won't give me an advance on my allowance unless I wax the chicken coop. Aww, shucks.

Are you good at video games? I can't beat Area 1.5-1.5 of Solid Evil 15. It's got platforms that disappear and too many turrets and IF you make it to the boss he shoots you with missiles and if he kills you, you have to go all the way back to the beginning! Arrrrrrrrrgh!! Mom heard me yelling at it and said if I wasn't having fun I should stop playing. Parents just don't understand video games!