It must be real exciting to get to fight ogres and monsters all the time! I've only ever seen one ogre -- Mr. Espinoza, my Geography teacher. He's got a big pot belly and snaggly teeth and hair growing out of his ears and he's real grumpy all the time, so I'm pretty sure he's an ogre. He made me stay after class and groom the blackboard because I couldn't remember the name of some dumb river. If you're ever in town, I'll find out where he lives so you can hit him with your sword. That'll teach him! Ha ha ha, see what I did there?

My friends are all going nuts about boycotting stamps, but I'd rather spend my time reading comics. The new issue of The Fugitive Barbarian vs. The Fantastic Armageddon just came out!

Today Marky Mott invited me over to his house after school. He's kind of a strange kid and we've never really been friends, but we've been classmates for like forever, so I went. They had this weird mustard carpet in every room, and the whole place smelled like boiled cinnamon. I looked at his collection of bottle caps and we played a little World of Iron 7, and then I went home. It was pretty awkward the whole time. I hope he doesn't ask me again.