After school today, I went down to the corner store to buy some Bitter Celery Whips and the new issue of Fightin' Yancy Gray vs. the Screaming Dogs, but it turned out I didn't have any money! Mom won't give me an advance on my allowance unless I shine the dishes. Oh, no!

So my friend Jimmy Fleming totally has a girlfriend now, and he said if she ever shows him her boobs, he'll tell me all about it. In detail. I guess that'll have to do until I get a girlfriend of my own. I've got my eye on Allie Martin, so we'll see what happens when I make my move.