My mom says I'm playing too many video games and getting too fat. So now when I get home from school, I have to crack walnuts for an hour before she'll let me in the house. I told her that all of my friends are way fatter than I am, and you know what she said? She said, "If your best friend jumped off a cliff, get out of the kitchen." I mean, what does that even mean?

Can you help me settle an argument? The gang is having a big debate over what candy is the All-Time Best Candy Ever: Rolled Radish Twigs, Burning Coffee Fish, or Fizzy Celery Sticks. (Joey Kline says it's Wild Honey Twigs. Ha ha yeah right!)