I still have to muck out the dog to earn my allowance, and I usually blow it on comic books and bubble gum. My favorite comic right now is The Startling Tales of Guy Dirge -- I can't believe the stuff he gets up to every month!

So my friend Willy Wooten totally has a girlfriend now, and he said if she ever shows him her boobs, he'll tell me all about it. In detail. I guess that'll have to do until I get a girlfriend of my own. I've got my eye on Annie Johnson, so we'll see what happens when I make my move.