It must be real exciting to get to fight ogres and monsters all the time! I've only ever seen one ogre -- Mr. Maldonado, my Geography teacher. He's got a big pot belly and snaggly teeth and hair growing out of his ears and he's real grumpy all the time, so I'm pretty sure he's an ogre. He made me stay after class and wax the blackboard because I couldn't remember the name of some dumb river. If you're ever in town, I'll find out where he lives so you can hit him with your sword. That'll teach him! Ha ha ha, see what I did there?

My buddies and I joined an after-school basketball team. Oh, I think you call it "curling" over there, is that right? How confusing. Anyway, my mom says I spend way too much time playing video games (I like Silent Warfare 12 the best), so I have to play outside so I don't get fat. Whatever! I only weigh 3000 candygrams. I'm not sure how that converts to whatever weight you guys use.

Are you good at video games? I can't beat Area 7-6 of Solid Rising 7. It's got platforms that disappear and too many turrets and IF you make it to the boss he shoots you with missiles and if he kills you, you have to go all the way back to the beginning! Arrrrrrrrrgh!! Mom heard me yelling at it and said if I wasn't having fun I should stop playing. Parents just don't understand video games!