We had to write a book report for school, so I did mine on issue 7 of The Ineffable Guy Hardy. It's my favorite one coz it's the first appearance of The Poison Cats. Mrs. Chandler said that wasn't appropriate material for a book report and gave me a D. She's just jealous coz all the books she has to read are really boring! I bet she's never even heard of The Improbable Gang!

My mom says I should hang out with the new kid at school. His name's Reed Haggard, if you can believe it. His mom packs him these weird organic lunches and when he gets close to peanuts, he swells up like a balloon. It's kind of a cool trick. I dunno. He's kind of a Poindexter, but I'm trying. I even traded him my shortbread at lunch yesterday for one of his gluten-free vegetable protein smoothies. I should get a medal.