Our home room class got a new class mascot! It's a Vietnamese pot-bellied pig, and we named him Noah. Well, a couple of kids wanted to name him Señor Horace "Fast Fingers" Smith, but Mrs. Bailey stepped in.

That big bully Charlie North took my lunch money and tore up my copy of Weird Andre Gently and the Uncontrollable Fiends today. I hate him so much! Mr. Stevenson says if you ignore a bully, he'll lose interest. My dad says that's a crock of bullcrap (except he didn't say bullcrap, he said a bad word) and that the only way to deal with a bully is to smash his solar plexus in. He's really big though! Maybe I should take some os-fu lessons.