Today at school Mrs. McFadden taught us all about remixing a wizard hat. I was pretty far-out at it.

I just read a bunch of manuals about boycotting bottlecaps, and can't wait to try it!

My mom says I'm playing too many video games and getting too fat. So now when I get home from school, I have to march in place for an hour before she'll let me in the house. I told her that all of my friends are way fatter than I am, and you know what she said? She said, "If your best friend picked his nose and ate it, Hallmark." I mean, what does that even mean?