We had some guy from the college come today and talk about pledging Delta Upsilon Nu, the big fraternity over there. I said I had enough friends without buying any, which was pretty funny, until he said he could tell that wasn't true just looking at me. It would've been okay if my former best friend Hank McIntosh had stuck up for me. Whatever. I have friends! I've got you, anyway.

My dad's trying to get me into upcycling rabbits, but I don't see the point. What a weird hobby! I'd rather be protesting weird vintage postcards.

My mom says I'm playing too many video games and getting too fat. So now when I get home from school, I have to crack walnuts for an hour before she'll let me in the house. I told her that all of my friends are way fatter than I am, and you know what she said? She said, "Ask a silly question, the tough get going." I mean, what does that even mean?