I got clobbered at badminton practice today, because I was watching the cheerleaders practice nearby -- mainly Brooklyn Christensen, but they all look amazing. I'm really jealous of Mason, the only guy cheerleader. He gets to lift the girls up by their butts and all sorts of stuff! I have no idea how he manages to concentrate on the routines.

So there's this new kid in school, Johnny "Submarine" Gardner, and he says his dad's a real-live hobo from the Kingdom of Loathing! Have you ever fought any hobos? I'll bet I could take a hobo if I had to. I mean, if I really totally had to. Especially if I could bring my favorite Pokëmann, Duck.