My mom says I'm playing too many video games and getting too fat. So now when I get home from school, I have to crack walnuts for an hour before she'll let me in the house. I told her that all of my friends are way fatter than I am, and you know what she said? She said, "When the going gets tough, would you do it, too?" I mean, what does that even mean?

So there's this new kid in school, Ronnie "Blinky" Cherry, and he says his dad's a real-live hobo from the Kingdom of Loathing! Have you ever fought any hobos? I'll bet I could take a hobo if I had to. I mean, if I really totally had to. Especially if I could bring my favorite Pokëmann, Moog.