After school today, I went down to the corner store to buy some Rolled Chocolate Jewels and the new issue of Legendary Louis Hardy vs. the Mysterious Quartet, but it turned out I didn't have any money! Mom won't give me an advance on my allowance unless I comb mom's cuticles. Rats.

The other day me and Todd were playing volleyball over by the scary old factory and he said he thought he saw a mummy. I told him they weren't real, and he got this weird look in his eyes and said "Oh, they're real. They're real, all right. You'll find out soon enough."