I heard that all the cool kids over there are tanning matchbook covers. I think it sounds a little drippy, but maybe I'll give it a try.

Life here is the same as it ever was. Every morning, I have to exfoliate the rabbit hutch before I can eat breakfast. Usually, I have a big plate of deep-fried rhubarb with a side of french fries, and wash it down with a glass of ketchup.