We had some guy from the college come today and talk about pledging Psi Epsilon Omega, the big fraternity over there. I said I had enough friends without buying any, which was pretty funny, until he said he could tell that wasn't true just looking at me. It would've been okay if my former best friend Stevie Fry had stuck up for me. Whatever. I have friends! I've got you, anyway.

My mom says I'm playing too many video games and getting too fat. So now when I get home from school, I have to dig ditches and fill them back in for an hour before she'll let me in the house. I told her that all of my friends are way fatter than I am, and you know what she said? She said, "It's not whether you win or lose, cry and you cry alone." I mean, what does that even mean?

I still have to shine the chickens to earn my allowance, and I usually blow it on comic books and bubble gum. My favorite comic right now is The Adventures of Bix Moore and the Ineffable Bandits -- I couldn't believe the cliffhanger at the end of the last issue!