My mom totally spied through all my stuff and took all of the best issues of The Legend of Rufus and the White Legion, can you believe it! I mean, sure, there's that scene where the guy gets his thyroid punched through with a railroad spike, but c'mon. I'm mature enough to handle that.

There's this totally cute new girl at school! Her name is Mackenzie Blankenship and she's fantastic. I mean, she's a little weird; her mom packs her these gross organic lunches, and if she even smells a peanut, she gets all swollen and has to lie down, but she's still awesome. I wonder if she's into arranging lace doilies? I dunno. How do you talk to girls?