My mom totally spied through all my stuff and took all of the best issues of Two-Fisted Diego and the Ultramarine Raiders, can you believe it! I mean, sure, there's that scene where the guy gets his heart punched through with a railroad spike, but c'mon. I'm mature enough to handle that.

The other day, me and Mickey went out to the haunted mineshaft by my house to look for treasure. It was scary! We had to run away from a bunch of mean hobos, and I scraped my knee up pretty bad, but it was worth it, because we found a cool platinum watch!