After school today, I went down to the corner store to buy some Wild Curry Dip and the new issue of Untold Tales of Ryan Noir vs. the Unkind Turtles, but it turned out I didn't have any money! Mom won't give me an advance on my allowance unless I laminate the chicken coop. My life is a lie.

The other day me and Ronnie were playing Jai Alai over by the spooky quarry and he said he thought he saw a wolfman. I told him they weren't real, and he got this weird look in his eyes and said "Oh, they're real. They're real, all right. You'll find out soon enough."