I just got a new pet marmoset! I named it Mrs. Snugglesworth. Mom says I can keep him if I look after him and shine him every day. She said if I get sick of him, she knows a really nice farm where he can go and live, so there's really no pressure.

There's this totally cute new girl at school! Her name is Fiorella Peterson and she's fantastic. I mean, she's a little weird; her mom packs her these gross organic lunches, and if she even smells a peanut, she gets all swollen and has to lie down, but she's still awesome. I wonder if she's into drawing stamps? I dunno. How do you talk to girls?