After school, I usually hang out with my friends, unless they ask me if I want to do drugs. Then I say, "I like you, but I don't like drugs. Let's play miniature golf instead!" That usually cures my problem of having any friends.

So there's this new kid in school, Hank "Calamity" Griffith, and he says his dad's a real-live hobo from the Kingdom of Loathing! Have you ever fought any hobos? I'll bet I could take a hobo if I had to. I mean, if I really totally had to. Especially if I could bring my favorite Pokëmann, Nothing.