Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Leopard Print Mark "Taco" Mott

Hot: White-Hot Frederick "JabaƱero" Young, the Capsaicin Kid

Cold: Parker "Mr. Sleet" O'Reilly

Stench: Stevie McCartney, Who Has Never Bathed Ever

Spooky: Cal "Hemp Dance" McDurkee

Sleazy: Walter Shannahan, the Guy Who Casually Brushes Up Against You Way Too Often for It to Be a Coincidence

Crimbo: Have Yourself a Merry Little Daleroth Treetrimmer

The Hoboverlord sez: Can't find IT. CAN'T find the... window. Psssst... Watch it... Lost... the boxcars. Rudd's gonna be mad. Brrrrr...

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