Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Rubbery Stephen Salisbury

Hot: Still-On-Fire Davey "Briquette" Clark

Cold: Hilary "Ice Storm" Lewis

Stench: Unwashed Elmer, the Stankmaster

Spooky: Rigor Mortis Alan Waldorf

Sleazy: Oleaginous Updike "Panty-Thief" Bush

Crimbo: Claytonlas "Tinsel Toes" Belljingler

The Hoboverlord sez: Watch it... Gotta buy the lamp. Gotta... stab... the weightlifter.

Generate some more