Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Todd "The Slug" Romero

Hot: Scorchmarks Moe, the Man Who Burns Like Burning

Cold: Zachary Adams, the Iceman who Cometh

Stench: Gangrene-Riddled Manuel, the Smelliest Hobo In the World, Probably

Spooky: Judas Rutgers, the Hobo Who Wants Your Delicious Brains

Sleazy: Risque Clarence, the Cameraphone Panty-shot Taker

Crimbo: Morrislas Giftwrapper, Who Came Upon the Midnight Clear

The Hoboverlord sez: Have you seen Mrs. Symington? Coat, pocketknife, COAT.

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