Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Bix Nelson, the Brokeback Mountaineer

Hot: Hunka Hunka Burnin' Mikhail, the Flame Belcher

Cold: Freezing Duncan, the Earl of Frostbite

Stench: Swampwalkin' Bert Salisbury, the Guy Who Eats Nothing But Limburger Cheese

Spooky: Nefarious Travis "Golgotha" Sanford

Sleazy: Leroy "Furtive" Johnson

Crimbo: Dandyien "Still Believes" Ribbonwinder

The Hoboverlord sez: Where's my mushroom? Mutter... Boxcar, milk, boxcar.

Generate some more