Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Three-Bean R. J. "Marvin the Martini" Huxtable

Hot: White-Hot Horus Zevon, the Cinder-Tosser

Cold: Cold Feet Dan Shatner, the Polar Express

Stench: Filth-Covered Clancy, the Sulfuric Wonder

Spooky: Unearthly Noah Washington, the Dancin' Corpse

Sleazy: Inappropriate For Mixed Company Woody McNichols, the Human Stain

Crimbo: Sleigh-Ride Terryeri Ribbonwinder

The Hoboverlord sez: Where's my egg? Tell me... Do you know Grandma?

Generate some more