| Ever since you were a little boy, you wanted to become a mighty pirate and sail the seven seas, looting and plundering. Unfortunately, the country of Calamaria is totally land-locked, so you had to settle for being a Thief. One fateful day, you were strolling through the quiet village of Klatch when you met the town cook. That worthy begged you to try and rescue a charwoman's red-headed stepsister, who had been kidnapped by bandits. Having little to do except save the world from an evil sorcerer or whatever, you took the quest. Everything was going great but you soon were confounded by a fiendish color-matching puzzle, and by the time you figured out to solve it, you were disillusioned as an underfed rat. But, unwilling to let that keep you from glory, you gritted your teeth and wielded your 10' pole, and cut your way through the hordes of hobgoblins that stood between you and your goal. At last you found the lair of Grim Overlord Frazool, who quite unexpectedly turned out to be your long-lost son, but you killed the halfwit anyway. And thus was the land freed from tyranny, and you earned yourself a fat reward!
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