| Ever since you were a little boy, you wanted to become a mighty pirate and sail the seven seas, looting and plundering. Unfortunately, the country of Waltermatthau is totally land-locked, so you had to settle for being a Thief. At the tiny tavern on the outskirts of the Village of Spazmotic, you were trapped in a conversation with a man who had clearly had more than his fill of sarsaparilla. He told you about the great plague of lions that had beset the entire region of Ov'reezy, and of the rumor that the evil Giant Englebert was the source of the unpleasantness. You resolved to find the villain and dispatch him, mostly to get the drunk guy to shut up. There was no drama in the LBC until you got attacked by more orcs than you could handle. You were lucky to get out of there with your foot intact! You holed up in a small storeroom with a lockable door, and spent several weeks resting until your hitpoints were back to full. Then, keeping a careful eye out for gunslingers, you made your way to the lair of Evil Troll Mephistor and the object of your quest. You thought he nearly had you when he summoned a foul weretiger to his aid, but you put paid to the beast with your spoon and knocked the villain screaming into a awkward conversation with a well-placed kick to the thigh. At last, the treasure was yours!
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