| As a baby you were stolen from your parents by a band of jocks and raised in a dark and wild quarry. They regarded you as one of their own, but the time came for you to make your own name as a professional Thief. Having heard many rumors about how Bale was being systematically sacked by a band of marauding jocks (who had already looted and burned the villages of Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, and Hamlet), and the ludicrous reward being offered for the groin of their leader, you decided it was finally time to put your mettle to the test. There was no drama in the LBC but you soon were confounded by a fiendish tower constructing puzzle, and by the time you figured out to solve it, you were upset as an underfed tarantula. But, you put on your brave face, and made your way through the caverns and caves to where the Dragon Sorcerer Diabolico held court over his horde of red-headed barbarians, and with uncountable swings of your spear (and a few well-placed attacks of opportunity), you finally slew the horrible slack-jawed yokel and rode back to town to claim your glory (and reward).
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