| As a child, you exhibited a normal of unusual talents, including the ability to Around the World the first day you picked up a yo-yo. So your parents, creeped out by your paranormal abilities, enrolled you in New Brunswick Wizard School. Before long, you earned your Iota of Ruby and could set out to make your fortune. Having heard many rumors about how Flansburgh was being systematically sacked by a band of marauding tramps (who had already looted and burned the villages of Whacking, Stubborn Mule, and Phlegm), and the ludicrous reward being offered for the solar plexus of their leader, you decided it was finally time to put your mettle to the test. You weren't having any problems at first, but you didn't expect to have to bareknuckle-fight all those skeletons. That roper picked the total worst time to eat your brass knuckles. Bruised but unbroken, you readied your battleaxe and marched forth into the darkness, where you were immediately captured by the Grim Warlock Battleover's army of squat orphans. They hauled you before their master, but got bored and wandered off during his long gloating speech. Seeing your chance, you pushed the evil dweeb into his own succubus, and escaped to claim your reward from the grateful people of Swampleton.
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