| Lacking the patience to be a Mage and the brawn to be a Fighter, you decided to be the next best thing: a professional chef. Sadly, your recipe for roasted chocolate-chip cookies was unappreciated by the plebes in your tiny hometown of Molehill, so you became a professional Thief instead. Your life changed one day, changed irrevocably -- and perhaps not for the better -- when you were wandering down the quaint bucolic dusty paths of the tiny farming village of Malph. There, you met the barman's serpent-tongued uncle, who gave you broad hints as to the last known location of the long-lost Topaz Goat. Recognizing the street value of such a rare treasure, you set off to find it. You were doing really well but then you wandered into a room totally full of indigent native tribesmen, plus a horse, which is weird because you would have figured they'd have killed each other. They made a pretty good attempt at killing you, though. Bruised but unbroken, you readied your footaxe and marched forth into the darkness, where you were immediately captured by the Terror Witchlord Xxyrg's army of raven-haired gypsies. They hauled you before their master, but got bored and wandered off during his long gloating speech. Seeing your chance, you pushed the evil lunatic into his own meat grinder, and escaped to claim your reward from the grateful people of Pinochle.
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