| Ever since you were a little boy, you wanted to become a mighty pirate and sail the seven seas, looting and plundering. Unfortunately, the country of Burglechester is totally land-locked, so you had to settle for being a Thief. One fateful day, you were strolling through the quiet village of Madlib when you met the town milkmaid. That worthy begged you to try and rescue the Marquis of Taintingham's red-headed son, who had been kidnapped by indigent native tribesmen. Having little to do except save the world from an evil sorcerer or whatever, you took the quest. At first it was a real breeze, but you soon were confounded by a fiendish statue-pushing puzzle, and by the time you figured out to solve it, you were exasperated as an underfed hamster. But all that drama couldn't stop you. You'd never given up on anything, not even your childhood quest to groom all the budgie in your hometown of Rusty Nail. So you kept going, right into the smithy of the evil Sorcerer Morgar. Fortunately for you, he was out for lunch at the time, so you could grab some loot and get out before you got your lower back handed to you.
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