| Even though you were a sexy child, you always wanted to become a Fighter, like your father and his father before him. You got your wish when your hometown of Pitlick was attacked by a horde of Fire Goats. You got your lower back handed to you, but it cemented your desire to fight. At the tiny tavern on the outskirts of the Village of Dogspittle, you were trapped in a conversation with a man who had clearly had more than his fill of jell-o shots. He told you about the great plague of kittens that had beset the entire region of Claremont, and of the rumor that the evil Overlord Grunwold was the source of the unpleasantness. You resolved to find the villain and dispatch him, mostly to get the drunk guy to shut up. You were doing really well but you soon were confounded by a fiendish color-matching puzzle, and by the time you figured out to solve it, you were agitated as an underfed weasel. Bruised but unbroken, you readied your crossbow and marched forth into the darkness, where you were immediately captured by the Vampire King Englebert's army of sexy skeletons. They hauled you before their master, but got bored and wandered off during his long gloating speech. Seeing your chance, you pushed the evil pig into his own cheese-grater, and escaped to claim your reward from the grateful people of Burglechester.
|