| Ever since you were a child in the meager village of Spazmotic, you wanted to become a great Wizard and learn the great mysteries of the universe, such as why old sitcoms are never as good as you remember them being. The answer turned out to not be very interesting, but by that time you were a Wizard anyway. You rode into the city of Hambonia, and met a shadowy stranger in a hooded cloak who was sitting in the corner of the local bar. He told you about the legendary Emerald Bat of Carminehawk, which is rumored to be hidden in an ancient ruin near the village of Pitlick, and promised you a hefty fee if you could bring it to him. Figuring he wouldn't offer you the quest if it weren't level-appropriate, you readily agreed. It wasn't a thing at first, but you didn't expect to have to bareknuckle-fight all those lizardmen. That cockatrice picked the total worst time to eat your longbow. You holed up in a small storeroom with a lockable door, and spent several weeks resting until your hitpoints were back to full. Then, keeping a careful eye out for indigent native tribesmen, you made your way to the lair of Death Overlord Diablolo and the object of your quest. You thought he nearly had you when he summoned a foul bulette to his aid, but you put paid to the beast with your dagger and knocked the villain screaming into a antlion pit with a well-placed kick to the nipple. At last, the treasure was yours!
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