| As a baby you were stolen from your parents by a band of skeletons and raised in a dark and wild factory. They regarded you as one of their own, but the time came for you to make your own name as a professional Thief. As luck would have it, you found yourself wandering through the sleepy village of Buttole just as the village people (you know, the construction worker, the cop, the Indian) were beset by the evil Sorcerer Unpleasantor, who had poisoned the town's Vietnamese pot-bellied pig population. Against your better judgment (and with the hope of fat loot to come), you agreed to try and bring the villain to justice. Everything was hunky-dory until you got lost in a pyramid -- all the walls looked exactly the same! You did find a sweet scythe +1 in a cockatrice's lair, though, and were able to intimidate some orphans into telling you where their boss's hideout was. Right before they stabbed you in the face. However, you managed to overcome the odds (and your injuries), and after a lengthy crawl through a sewer infested with tramps, you finally came upon the lair of the Vampire Necromancer Savageforbidden, who was guarding the object of your quest. The evil fiend fell before your sword, and the land was finally free of his foul shenanigans. You made your way back to civilization, and basked in the glory of your success (and the reward money).
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