| Ever since you were a child in the meager village of Pitlick, you wanted to become a great Wizard and learn the great mysteries of the universe, such as whether the chicken or the deep-fryer came first. The answer turned out to not be very interesting, but by that time you were a Wizard anyway. At the tiny tavern on the outskirts of the Village of Pitlick, you were trapped in a conversation with a man who had clearly had more than his fill of tequiza. He told you about the great plague of squirrels that had beset the entire region of Febreezia, and of the rumor that the evil Warlock Grimtooth was the source of the unpleasantness. You resolved to find the villain and dispatch him, mostly to get the drunk guy to shut up. It was pretty easy, until you had to actually go in the dungeon. That was when you fell in a swinging razor-sharp pendulum, got attacked by bandits, and got your lower back bitten off by a ultramarine slaad. Fortunately, "giving up" isn't in your dictionary (probably because it's two words), so you persevered. You fought your way through countless kobolds and badgers -- even a cockatrice! But eventually you found the lair of the sinister Death Devil Lord Morgar, and were able to defeat him by knocking him into a vending machine with a lucky critical hit. Bruised but successful, you made it back to the nearby city of X'tn'ch'roth and claimed your reward.
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