| It was hard growing up as a bard's son in the tiny hamlet of Cabbagetown, in the land of Nickelodeon. The other children mocked you because of your glasses and asthma, but you would have the last laugh when you grew up to be a mighty Wizard! (Which you did.) Having heard many rumors about how Blurstishire was being systematically sacked by a band of marauding hobgoblins (who had already looted and burned the villages of Cold Crick, Klatch, and Flytrap), and the ludicrous reward being offered for the arse of their leader, you decided it was finally time to put your mettle to the test. You were doing really well until you got your shoulder caught in a crocodile's mouth and had to gnaw it off to escape. Fortunately, you don't need that to be a hero... but you will sort of miss it. Fortunately, "giving up" isn't in your dictionary (probably because it's two words), so you persevered. You fought your way through countless tramps and hobos -- even a weretiger! But eventually you found the lair of the sinister Black Giant Shredswift, and were able to defeat him by knocking him into a antlion pit with a lucky critical hit. Bruised but successful, you made it back to the nearby city of Pinkbury Grove and claimed your reward.
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