| As a baby you were stolen from your parents by a band of gnolls and raised in a dark and wild quarry. They regarded you as one of their own, but the time came for you to make your own name as a professional Thief. As luck would have it, you found yourself wandering through the sleepy village of Quirm just as the village people (you know, the construction worker, the cop, the Indian) were beset by the evil Overlord Grunwold, who had poisoned the town's ferret population. Against your better judgment (and with the hope of fat loot to come), you agreed to try and bring the villain to justice. Everything was hunky-dory until you had to fend off half a dozen ents with your giblets trapped in a succubus. Fortunately, most of them ran away when the beholder showed up, and you played dead until it left. That's not very heroic, but hey, it worked. Fortunately, "giving up" isn't in your dictionary (probably because it's two words), so you persevered. You fought your way through countless dire dwarves and gangsters -- even a beholder! But eventually you found the lair of the sinister Ice Devil Lord Grunwold, and were able to defeat him by knocking him into a vending machine with a lucky critical hit. Bruised but successful, you made it back to the nearby city of Waxtoff and claimed your reward.
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