| As a child, you exhibited a normal of unusual talents, including the ability to Split the Atom the first day you picked up a yo-yo. So your parents, creeped out by your paranormal abilities, enrolled you in Reeves Wizard School. Before long, you earned your Epsilon of Gold and could set out to make your fortune. As luck would have it, you found yourself wandering through the sleepy village of Deaf Chicken just as the village people (you know, the construction worker, the cop, the Indian) were beset by the evil Knight Englebert, who had poisoned the town's cat population. Against your better judgment (and with the hope of fat loot to come), you agreed to try and bring the villain to justice. It wasn't a thing until you got lost in a ruin -- all the walls looked exactly the same! You did find a sweet Greyhawk Army knife +1 in a weretiger's lair, though, and were able to intimidate some ents into telling you where their boss's hideout was. Right before they stabbed you in the ankle. Nevertheless, you fought your way through evil overlord's dungeon, dispatching gangsters left and right, and finally arrived at the throne room of the Dark Giant Grunwold. After a long and dramatic battle, you plunged your battleaxe into his lower back. The entire dungeon unexpectedly began to collapse as soon as the evil yokel was dead, but you managed to escape with your life, and claimed your reward from the grateful people of Waltermatthau.
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