| Ever since you were a little boy, you wanted to become a mighty pirate and sail the seven seas, looting and plundering. Unfortunately, the country of Claremont is totally land-locked, so you had to settle for being a Thief. As you wandered the back alleys of Klatch (and let's face it, most of that place is back alleys), a hand covered your mouth while a blade pushed gently at your ribs. You let yourself be dragged into a pitch-dark abandoned tallow rending plant. A sultry female voice introduced herself as Grue Dire maw. She asked you to undertake a quest to recover the Duke of Schmalbion's lost tarantula, Mrs. Whiskers. Reasoning it was the best quest you'd get until you leveled up a bit, you agreed to help. Everything was hunky-dory up until the part where you found yourself trapped between a vending machine and a crocodile's mouth, with a mimic bearing down upon you. That strawberry was pretty delicious, but it's didn't really make up for the damage to your lower back. But, unwilling to let that keep you from glory, you gritted your teeth and wielded your Leatherman, and cut your way through the hordes of bullywugs that stood between you and your goal. At last you found the lair of Demon Knight Grimtooth, who quite unexpectedly turned out to be your long-lost son, but you killed the douchebag anyway. And thus was the land freed from tyranny, and you earned yourself a fat reward!
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