| Ever since you were a little boy, you wanted to become a mighty pirate and sail the seven seas, looting and plundering. Unfortunately, the country of Hamonrye is totally land-locked, so you had to settle for being a Thief. At the tiny tavern on the outskirts of the Village of Dumpington, you were trapped in a conversation with a man who had clearly had more than his fill of barley pop. He told you about the great plague of hamsters that had beset the entire region of Winklesbury, and of the rumor that the evil Wizard Savagelost was the source of the unpleasantness. You resolved to find the villain and dispatch him, mostly to get the drunk guy to shut up. Everything was going great up until the part where you found yourself trapped between a iron maiden and a gelatinous cube, with a shoggoth bearing down upon you. That strawberry was pretty delicious, but it's didn't really make up for the damage to your foot. You holed up in a small storeroom with a lockable door, and spent several weeks resting until your hitpoints were back to full. Then, keeping a careful eye out for kobolds, you made your way to the lair of Fire Lawyer Diablolo and the object of your quest. You thought he nearly had you when he summoned a foul mind flayer to his aid, but you put paid to the beast with your magic wand and knocked the villain screaming into a lava pool with a well-placed kick to the leg. At last, the treasure was yours!
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