| Life was hard as a young man growing up in the city of Farc'b'n, and it became even harder when you had your heart stolen by a fat, ugly midwife. You became a Thief, in order to steal it back (with interest). Your life changed one day, changed irrevocably -- and perhaps not for the better -- when you were wandering down the quaint bucolic dusty paths of the tiny farming village of Spazmotic. There, you met a charwoman's golden-haired nephew, who gave you broad hints as to the last known location of the long-lost Ruby Pelican. Recognizing the street value of such a rare treasure, you set off to find it. You were doing a awesome job until you got attacked by more gunslingers than you could handle. You were lucky to get out of there with your bung intact! But, unwilling to let that keep you from glory, you gritted your teeth and wielded your entrenching tool, and cut your way through the hordes of bullywugs that stood between you and your goal. At last you found the lair of Skull Sorcerer Hatredgiant, who quite unexpectedly turned out to be your long-lost cousin, but you killed the twit anyway. And thus was the land freed from tyranny, and you earned yourself a fat reward!
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