As a child, you exhibited a normal of unusual talents, including the ability to Pinwheel the first day you picked up a yo-yo. So your parents, creeped out by your paranormal abilities, enrolled you in Delawhat Wizard School. Before long, you earned your Iota of Emerald and could set out to make your fortune.

As you wandered the back alleys of Piehole (and let's face it, most of that place is back alleys), a hand covered your mouth while a blade pushed gently at your ribs. You let yourself be dragged into a pitch-dark abandoned brewery. A sultry female voice introduced herself as Brown Dark blood. She asked you to undertake a quest to recover the Marquis of Blurstishire's lost kitten, Frederick. Reasoning it was the best quest you'd get until you leveled up a bit, you agreed to help.

Everything was hunky-dory until you had to fend off half a dozen gunslingers with your ankle trapped in a swinging razor-sharp pendulum. Fortunately, most of them ran away when the gazebo showed up, and you played dead until it left. That's not very heroic, but hey, it worked.

Fortunately, "giving up" isn't in your dictionary (probably because it's two words), so you persevered. You fought your way through countless dire dwarves and hobgoblins -- even a shoggoth! But eventually you found the lair of the sinister Black Giant Icewinder, and were able to defeat him by knocking him into a swinging razor-sharp pendulum with a lucky critical hit. Bruised but successful, you made it back to the nearby city of Llewllamarall and claimed your reward.

Loot:spoon of polyamory
+37 spyglass of brilliance
+2 entrenching tool of dire dwarf slaying

Another!