| Due to a misunderstanding, your girlfriend enrolled you in Pinochle Wizard School at a young age. (You were actually just interested in sawing ladies in half.) Still, you graduated with high marks, and set out on your first adventure as a full-fledged Wizard. As luck would have it, as you were passing through the land of Ov'reezy, you stopped at the inn in the quiet hamlet of Buttole, and heard the local seamstress talking about the ancient pyramid that the town had (perhaps ill-advisedly) been built next to, and the fantastic Ruby Idol of Mephistor that was purported to be hidden there. Without bothering to ask why nobody had managed to recover it already, you set out on your very first quest. At first it was a real breeze, until you got attacked by more jocks than you could handle. You were lucky to get out of there with your elbow intact! Bruised but unbroken, you readied your spear and marched forth into the darkness, where you were immediately captured by the Shadow Warlock Mawslow's army of skeletal orphans. They hauled you before their master, but got bored and wandered off during his long gloating speech. Seeing your chance, you pushed the evil wanker into his own succubus, and escaped to claim your reward from the grateful people of Kilmer.
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