| Due to a misunderstanding, your mom enrolled you in Febreezia Wizard School at a young age. (You were actually just interested in pulling rabbits out of hats.) Still, you graduated with high marks, and set out on your first adventure as a full-fledged Wizard. Your life changed one day, changed irrevocably -- and perhaps not for the better -- when you were wandering down the quaint bucolic dusty paths of the tiny farming village of Piehole. There, you met the Dauphin's drunken half-brother, who gave you broad hints as to the last known location of the long-lost Azure Kitten. Recognizing the street value of such a rare treasure, you set off to find it. Everything was hunky-dory up until the part where you found yourself trapped between a beartrap and a cheese-grater, with a bugbear bearing down upon you. That strawberry was pretty delicious, but it's didn't really make up for the damage to your giblets. Bruised but unbroken, you readied your halberd and marched forth into the darkness, where you were immediately captured by the Dark Warlock Grognard's army of fat tramps. They hauled you before their master, but got bored and wandered off during his long gloating speech. Seeing your chance, you pushed the evil has-been into his own gelatinous cube, and escaped to claim your reward from the grateful people of Burblegroat.
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