It was hard growing up as a "seamstress"'s son in the tiny hamlet of Morpork, in the land of Saffronhawk. The other children mocked you because of your glasses and asthma, but you would have the last laugh when you grew up to be a mighty Wizard! (Which you did.)

As luck would have it, as you were passing through the land of Shaffly-on-Surrey, you stopped at the inn in the quiet hamlet of Cheddarwurst, and heard the local squire talking about the ancient sewer that the town had (perhaps ill-advisedly) been built next to, and the fantastic Amber Idol of Evilthing that was purported to be hidden there. Without bothering to ask why nobody had managed to recover it already, you set out on your very first quest.

Everything was going great until you got your knee caught in a antlion pit and had to gnaw it off to escape. Fortunately, you don't need that to be a hero... but you will sort of miss it.

But all that drama couldn't stop you. You'd never given up on anything, not even your childhood quest to scour all the parakeet in your hometown of Cheddarwurst. So you kept going, right into the convenience store of the evil Troll Morgar. Fortunately for you, he was out for lunch at the time, so you could grab some loot and get out before you got your shoulder handed to you.

Loot:key of clairvoyance
machine of bewildering fireballs
lion's helm of unstoppable polyamory

Another!