| Life was hard as an orphan on the streets of Frog, without a bro' or wife to teach you right from wrong. On the other hand, you wouldn't have grown up to be such a talented Thief otherwise. Having heard many rumors about how Nickelodeon was being systematically sacked by a band of marauding gnolls (who had already looted and burned the villages of Cowpat, Pig-in-a-Poke, and Dogspittle), and the ludicrous reward being offered for the face of their leader, you decided it was finally time to put your mettle to the test. You were kickin' ass and chewin' bubblegum at first, but you didn't expect to have to bareknuckle-fight all those accountants. That cockatrice picked the total worst time to eat your magic wand. However, you knew you'd never be a mighty adventurer if you let a little setback like that stop you, and damned if you were going to end up a cook in some crummy backwater like Pig-in-a-Poke or Malph. So you pressed onward until you discovered the lair of the Grim Overlord Goldthwait, and after a long and dramatic battle you successfully put an end to his evil ways. And then you looted the hell out of his hideout.
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