| Life was hard as a young man growing up in the city of Bale, and it became even harder when you had your heart stolen by a quarter-witted, ugly seamstress. You became a Thief, in order to steal it back (with interest). You rode into the city of Wibbleshire, and met a shadowy stranger in a hooded cloak who was sitting in the corner of the local bar. He told you about the legendary Topaz Kitten of Prefectford, which is rumored to be hidden in an ancient strip mall near the village of Sto Lat, and promised you a hefty fee if you could bring it to him. Figuring he wouldn't offer you the quest if it weren't level-appropriate, you readily agreed. It wasn't a thing until you had to fend off half a dozen accountants with your solar plexus trapped in a sphere of annihilation. Fortunately, most of them ran away when the shoggoth showed up, and you played dead until it left. That's not very heroic, but hey, it worked. But, unwilling to let that keep you from glory, you gritted your teeth and wielded your longbow, and cut your way through the hordes of jocks that stood between you and your goal. At last you found the lair of Ice King Goldthwait, who quite unexpectedly turned out to be your long-lost niece, but you killed the scrub anyway. And thus was the land freed from tyranny, and you earned yourself a fat reward!
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