| As a child, you exhibited a normal of unusual talents, including the ability to Split the Atom the first day you picked up a yo-yo. So your parents, creeped out by your paranormal abilities, enrolled you in Pinochle Wizard School. Before long, you earned your Omicron of Sapphire and could set out to make your fortune. Having heard many rumors about how Winklesbury was being systematically sacked by a band of marauding goblins (who had already looted and burned the villages of Piehole, Cold Crick, and Mudhole), and the ludicrous reward being offered for the knee of their leader, you decided it was finally time to put your mettle to the test. It was pretty easy, until you got attacked by more jocks than you could handle. You were lucky to get out of there with your skull intact! You holed up in a small storeroom with a lockable door, and spent several weeks resting until your hitpoints were back to full. Then, keeping a careful eye out for accountants, you made your way to the lair of Skull Barbarian Blackfist and the object of your quest. You thought he nearly had you when he summoned a foul beholder to his aid, but you put paid to the beast with your "Rod of Lordly Might" (if you know what I mean) and knocked the villain screaming into a sphere of annihilation with a well-placed kick to the nipple. At last, the treasure was yours!
|