| Due to a misunderstanding, your niece enrolled you in X'tn'ch'roth Wizard School at a young age. (You were actually just interested in card tricks.) Still, you graduated with high marks, and set out on your first adventure as a full-fledged Wizard. Having heard many rumors about how Taintingham was being systematically sacked by a band of marauding tramps (who had already looted and burned the villages of Cheddarwurst, Bobcat, and Cheddarwurst), and the ludicrous reward being offered for the arse of their leader, you decided it was finally time to put your mettle to the test. It wasn't a thing until you got attacked by more bandits than you could handle. You were lucky to get out of there with your nipple intact! You holed up in a small storeroom with a lockable door, and spent several weeks resting until your hitpoints were back to full. Then, keeping a careful eye out for lizardmen, you made your way to the lair of Dark Warlock Diablolo and the object of your quest. You thought he nearly had you when he summoned a foul mimic to his aid, but you put paid to the beast with your shillelagh and knocked the villain screaming into a vending machine with a well-placed kick to the kidney. At last, the treasure was yours!
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