| Life was hard as an orphan on the streets of Deaf Chicken, without a bro' or aunt to teach you right from wrong. On the other hand, you wouldn't have grown up to be such a talented Thief otherwise. As luck would have it, you found yourself wandering through the sleepy village of Quirm just as the village people (you know, the construction worker, the cop, the Indian) were beset by the evil Warrior Bloodover, who had poisoned the town's tarantula population. Against your better judgment (and with the hope of fat loot to come), you agreed to try and bring the villain to justice. Everything was hunky-dory up until the part where you found yourself trapped between a swinging razor-sharp pendulum and a cookie jar, with a cockatrice bearing down upon you. That strawberry was pretty delicious, but it's didn't really make up for the damage to your ear. Fortunately, "giving up" isn't in your dictionary (probably because it's two words), so you persevered. You fought your way through countless tramps and dark elves -- even a bulette! But eventually you found the lair of the sinister Shadow Lord Grognard, and were able to defeat him by knocking him into a cheese-grater with a lucky critical hit. Bruised but successful, you made it back to the nearby city of Limberford and claimed your reward.
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