At an early age, you were apprenticed to the Great Wizard Ogilvy, but you grew tired of having to mop the floors and rake the alchemical equipment day in and day out. So, you stole a spellbook and took off to become a Wizard on your own.

At the tiny tavern on the outskirts of the Village of Pittsburgh, you were trapped in a conversation with a man who had clearly had more than his fill of sarsaparilla. He told you about the great plague of hagfish that had beset the entire region of Bale, and of the rumor that the evil Wizard Hasslehoff was the source of the unpleasantness. You resolved to find the villain and dispatch him, mostly to get the drunk guy to shut up.

At first it was a real breeze, but then you wandered into a room totally full of gunslingers, plus a beholder, which is weird because you would have figured they'd have killed each other. They made a pretty good attempt at killing you, though.

But all that drama couldn't stop you. You'd never given up on anything, not even your childhood quest to groom all the mongoose in your hometown of Frog. So you kept going, right into the tallow rending plant of the evil Giant Baaaal. Fortunately for you, he was out for lunch at the time, so you could grab some loot and get out before you got your head handed to you.

Loot:kneepads of infravision
deck of misogyny
miraculous spoon of contempt

Another!