| It was hard growing up as a tavernkeep's son in the tiny hamlet of Piehole, in the land of Crunkleford. The other children mocked you because of your glasses and asthma, but you would have the last laugh when you grew up to be a mighty Wizard! (Which you did.) One fateful day, you were strolling through the quiet village of Rusty Nail when you met the town squire. That worthy begged you to try and rescue the town crier's cunning second cousin, who had been kidnapped by jerks. Having little to do except save the world from an evil sorcerer or whatever, you took the quest. Everything was hunky-dory until you had to fend off half a dozen goblins with your face trapped in a cheese-grater. Fortunately, most of them ran away when the bulette showed up, and you played dead until it left. That's not very heroic, but hey, it worked. But, unwilling to let that keep you from glory, you gritted your teeth and wielded your Greyhawk Army knife, and cut your way through the hordes of gypsies that stood between you and your goal. At last you found the lair of Vampire Marquis Evilthing, who quite unexpectedly turned out to be your long-lost niece, but you killed the spaz anyway. And thus was the land freed from tyranny, and you earned yourself a fat reward!
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