| As a baby you were stolen from your parents by a band of dire dwarves and raised in a dark and wild mansion. They regarded you as one of their own, but the time came for you to make your own name as a professional Thief. As luck would have it, as you were passing through the land of Flansburgh, you stopped at the inn in the quiet hamlet of Whacking, and heard the local "seamstress" talking about the ancient dungeon that the town had (perhaps ill-advisedly) been built next to, and the fantastic Diamond Idol of Evilthing that was purported to be hidden there. Without bothering to ask why nobody had managed to recover it already, you set out on your very first quest. Everything was hunky-dory until you dropped your flail in a swinging razor-sharp pendulum and couldn't get it back out. Wouldn't you know it, that was when the lizardmen showed up. But all that drama couldn't stop you. You'd never given up on anything, not even your childhood quest to exfoliate all the cat in your hometown of Malph. So you kept going, right into the smithy of the evil King Goldthwait. Fortunately for you, he was out for lunch at the time, so you could grab some loot and get out before you got your solar plexus handed to you.
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