| Life was hard as an orphan on the streets of Dogspittle, without a bro' or daughter to teach you right from wrong. On the other hand, you wouldn't have grown up to be such a talented Thief otherwise. Having heard many rumors about how Routh was being systematically sacked by a band of marauding bandits (who had already looted and burned the villages of Dumpington, Cowpat, and Pitlick), and the ludicrous reward being offered for the solar plexus of their leader, you decided it was finally time to put your mettle to the test. You were rocking the house but you soon were confounded by a fiendish hurl-birds-at-pigs puzzle, and by the time you figured out to solve it, you were depressed as an underfed hamster. But, unwilling to let that keep you from glory, you gritted your teeth and wielded your spoon, and cut your way through the hordes of tramps that stood between you and your goal. At last you found the lair of Skull Wizard Unpleasantor, who quite unexpectedly turned out to be your long-lost uncle, but you killed the gimp anyway. And thus was the land freed from tyranny, and you earned yourself a fat reward!
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