| Inspired by the great deeds of your mother, Carmine Knapp, you knew from an early age you wanted to be a Fighter. After a scant 13 years of training, you were finally ready to seek your fortune in the large, indifferent world. Your life changed one day, changed irrevocably -- and perhaps not for the better -- when you were wandering down the quaint bucolic dusty paths of the tiny farming village of Whacking. There, you met a farmer's tattooed daughter, who gave you broad hints as to the last known location of the long-lost Emerald Lion. Recognizing the street value of such a rare treasure, you set off to find it. You weren't having any problems up until the part where you found yourself trapped between a iron maiden and a gelatinous cube, with a beholder bearing down upon you. That strawberry was pretty delicious, but it's didn't really make up for the damage to your arm. Nevertheless, you fought your way through evil overlord's strip mall, dispatching hobos left and right, and finally arrived at the throne room of the Grim Devil Lord Baaaal. After a long and dramatic battle, you plunged your bardiche into his elbow. The entire dungeon unexpectedly began to collapse as soon as the evil hayseed was dead, but you managed to escape with your life, and claimed your reward from the grateful people of Waxtoff.
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