| It was hard growing up as a village idiot's son in the tiny hamlet of Ironforge, in the land of Taintingham. The other children mocked you because of your glasses and asthma, but you would have the last laugh when you grew up to be a mighty Wizard! (Which you did.) As you wandered the back alleys of Cheddarwurst (and let's face it, most of that place is back alleys), a hand covered your mouth while a blade pushed gently at your ribs. You let yourself be dragged into a pitch-dark abandoned haberdashery. A sultry female voice introduced herself as Crimson Crypt mist. She asked you to undertake a quest to recover a charwoman's lost cat, Fuzzy. Reasoning it was the best quest you'd get until you leveled up a bit, you agreed to help. At first it was a real breeze, at first, but you didn't expect to have to bareknuckle-fight all those indigent native tribesmen. That cockatrice picked the total worst time to eat your Greyhawk Army knife. Nevertheless, you fought your way through evil overlord's necropolis, dispatching hobos left and right, and finally arrived at the throne room of the Fire Wizard Woundside. After a long and dramatic battle, you plunged your dagger into his nipple. The entire dungeon unexpectedly began to collapse as soon as the evil buffoon was dead, but you managed to escape with your life, and claimed your reward from the grateful people of Crunkleton.
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