| Lacking the patience to be a Mage and the brawn to be a Fighter, you decided to be the next best thing: a professional chef. Sadly, your recipe for clarified cocktail weenies was unappreciated by the plebes in your tiny hometown of Flytrap, so you became a professional Thief instead. In the fiefdom of Farnsworthington, in the unpleasant-smelling backwater of Deaf Chicken, you found an inn with cheap sack and spent the night carousing. There, you heard a tale of the forgotten treasure of the Emerald Mountains, lost for ages during the time of the great fire. You decided to seek the treasure yourself, heedless of the literal mountain of skeletons of those who had tried before you. At first it was a real breeze, up until the part where you found yourself trapped between a lava pool and a meat grinder, with a rust monster bearing down upon you. That strawberry was pretty delicious, but it's didn't really make up for the damage to your nipple. Fortunately, "giving up" isn't in your dictionary (probably because it's two words), so you persevered. You fought your way through countless bullywugs and skeletons -- even a weretiger! But eventually you found the lair of the sinister Skull Warlock Gristlewind, and were able to defeat him by knocking him into a awkward conversation with a lucky critical hit. Bruised but successful, you made it back to the nearby city of Flansburgh and claimed your reward.
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