| You grew up on the fishy streets of the great Diamond City, where contrary to popular belief, the streets are mainly paved with horse dung. Well, at least in your neighborhood. Small wonder you grew up to be a professional Thief. Your life changed one day, changed irrevocably -- and perhaps not for the better -- when you were wandering down the quaint bucolic dusty paths of the tiny farming village of Cheddarwurst. There, you met a farmer's sexy half-brother, who gave you broad hints as to the last known location of the long-lost Amethyst Monkey. Recognizing the street value of such a rare treasure, you set off to find it. At first it was a real breeze, until you got lost in a tower -- all the walls looked exactly the same! You did find a sweet dagger +1 in a owlbear's lair, though, and were able to intimidate some jocks into telling you where their boss's hideout was. Right before they stabbed you in the shoulder. Bruised but unbroken, you readied your spoon and marched forth into the darkness, where you were immediately captured by the Black Knight Unpleasantor's army of squat gunslingers. They hauled you before their master, but got bored and wandered off during his long gloating speech. Seeing your chance, you pushed the evil buffoon into his own crocodile's mouth, and escaped to claim your reward from the grateful people of Bale.
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