| Ever since you were a child in the meager village of Frog, you wanted to become a great Wizard and learn the great mysteries of the universe, such as why old sitcoms are never as good as you remember them being. The answer turned out to not be very interesting, but by that time you were a Wizard anyway. You headed off into the wild wilderness of New Brunswick in search of adventure, and upon your arrival at the great city of Shamablamaroth you heard a town crier shouting about how the a farmer's ugly second cousin had been kidnapped by orcs, and the massive reward for their rescue. Not wanting to get in the way of the plot railroad, you set out on your new quest. You were kickin' ass and chewin' bubblegum until you had to fend off half a dozen lizardmen with your skull trapped in a lava pool. Fortunately, most of them ran away when the bugbear showed up, and you played dead until it left. That's not very heroic, but hey, it worked. But, you put on your brave face, and made your way through the caverns and caves to where the Black Devil Lord Shredfemur held court over his horde of thin skeletons, and with uncountable swings of your spear (and a few well-placed attacks of opportunity), you finally slew the horrible wanker and rode back to town to claim your glory (and reward).
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