| As a child, you exhibited a normal of unusual talents, including the ability to Flying Saucer the first day you picked up a yo-yo. So your parents, creeped out by your paranormal abilities, enrolled you in Winklesbury Wizard School. Before long, you earned your Alpha of Amethyst and could set out to make your fortune. In the fiefdom of Delawhat, in the unpleasant-smelling backwater of Pig-in-a-Poke, you found an inn with cheap micheladas and spent the night carousing. There, you heard a tale of the forgotten treasure of the Amber Caves, lost for ages during the time of the great fire. You decided to seek the treasure yourself, heedless of the literal mountain of skeletons of those who had tried before you. You were doing a wicked job at first, but you didn't expect to have to bareknuckle-fight all those lizardmen. That mind flayer picked the total worst time to eat your 10' pole. Fortunately, "giving up" isn't in your dictionary (probably because it's two words), so you persevered. You fought your way through countless hobos and jocks -- even a horse! But eventually you found the lair of the sinister Dragon King Dave, and were able to defeat him by knocking him into a gelatinous cube with a lucky critical hit. Bruised but successful, you made it back to the nearby city of Shuntington and claimed your reward.
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