| As a baby you were stolen from your parents by a band of goblins and raised in a dark and wild mineshaft. They regarded you as one of their own, but the time came for you to make your own name as a professional Thief. As luck would have it, as you were passing through the land of Pinochle, you stopped at the inn in the quiet hamlet of Deaf Chicken, and heard the local farmhand talking about the ancient pyramid that the town had (perhaps ill-advisedly) been built next to, and the fantastic Amber Idol of Xxyrg that was purported to be hidden there. Without bothering to ask why nobody had managed to recover it already, you set out on your very first quest. You were rocking the house until you got lost in a sewer -- all the walls looked exactly the same! You did find a sweet sack of doorknobs +1 in a githyanki's lair, though, and were able to intimidate some jerks into telling you where their boss's hideout was. Right before they stabbed you in the nipple. Nevertheless, you fought your way through evil overlord's ruin, dispatching lizardmen left and right, and finally arrived at the throne room of the Devil Devil Lord Baaaal. After a long and dramatic battle, you plunged your spoon into his ear. The entire dungeon unexpectedly began to collapse as soon as the evil bimbo was dead, but you managed to escape with your life, and claimed your reward from the grateful people of Pinochle.
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