| Life was hard as an orphan on the streets of Piehole, without a cousin or girlfriend to teach you right from wrong. On the other hand, you wouldn't have grown up to be such a talented Thief otherwise. Your life changed one day, changed irrevocably -- and perhaps not for the better -- when you were wandering down the quaint bucolic dusty paths of the tiny farming village of Morpork. There, you met the barman's tattooed homie, who gave you broad hints as to the last known location of the long-lost Gold Moose. Recognizing the street value of such a rare treasure, you set off to find it. You had a good handle on it up until the part where you found yourself trapped between a gelatinous cube and a antlion pit, with a mind flayer bearing down upon you. That strawberry was pretty delicious, but it's didn't really make up for the damage to your head. But all that drama couldn't stop you. You'd never given up on anything, not even your childhood quest to laminate all the earwig in your hometown of Dropseat. So you kept going, right into the haberdashery of the evil King Unpleasantor. Fortunately for you, he was out for lunch at the time, so you could grab some loot and get out before you got your lower back handed to you.
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