| Even though you were a golden-haired child, you always wanted to become a Fighter, like your father and his father before him. You got your wish when your hometown of Malph was attacked by a horde of Black Pigs. You got your bung handed to you, but it cemented your desire to fight. At the tiny tavern on the outskirts of the Village of Frog, you were trapped in a conversation with a man who had clearly had more than his fill of tequiza. He told you about the great plague of frogs that had beset the entire region of Bacon, and of the rumor that the evil Devil Lord Arc'klor was the source of the unpleasantness. You resolved to find the villain and dispatch him, mostly to get the drunk guy to shut up. Everything was hunky-dory until you had to fend off half a dozen ents with your giblets trapped in a cookie jar. Fortunately, most of them ran away when the beholder showed up, and you played dead until it left. That's not very heroic, but hey, it worked. Bruised but unbroken, you readied your shillelagh and marched forth into the darkness, where you were immediately captured by the Vampire Barbarian Woundforgotten's army of bright-eyed hobos. They hauled you before their master, but got bored and wandered off during his long gloating speech. Seeing your chance, you pushed the evil dork into his own succubus, and escaped to claim your reward from the grateful people of Nickelodeon.
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