| At an early age, you were apprenticed to the Great Wizard Dookie, but you grew tired of having to exfoliate the floors and tidy the alchemical equipment day in and day out. So, you stole a spellbook and took off to become a Wizard on your own. You headed off into the wild wilderness of Reeves in search of adventure, and upon your arrival at the great city of Swampleton you heard a town crier shouting about how the an inkeeper's drunken aunt had been kidnapped by barbarians, and the massive reward for their rescue. Not wanting to get in the way of the plot railroad, you set out on your new quest. You were kickin' ass and chewin' bubblegum until you got lost in a sewer -- all the walls looked exactly the same! You did find a sweet pike +1 in a roper's lair, though, and were able to intimidate some barbarians into telling you where their boss's hideout was. Right before they stabbed you in the arm. You holed up in a small storeroom with a lockable door, and spent several weeks resting until your hitpoints were back to full. Then, keeping a careful eye out for desperados, you made your way to the lair of Vampire Troll Goldthwait and the object of your quest. You thought he nearly had you when he summoned a foul owlbear to his aid, but you put paid to the beast with your knife and knocked the villain screaming into a vending machine with a well-placed kick to the skull. At last, the treasure was yours!
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