Lacking the patience to be a Mage and the brawn to be a Fighter, you decided to be the next best thing: a professional chef. Sadly, your recipe for fricasseed pressed crab apples was unappreciated by the plebes in your tiny hometown of Frog, so you became a professional Thief instead.

You headed off into the wild wilderness of Keaton in search of adventure, and upon your arrival at the great city of Blurstishire you heard a town crier shouting about how the the Sultan's golden-haired uncle had been kidnapped by indigent native tribesmen, and the massive reward for their rescue. Not wanting to get in the way of the plot railroad, you set out on your new quest.

You were kickin' ass and chewin' bubblegum until you had to fend off half a dozen gypsies with your shoulder trapped in a meat grinder. Fortunately, most of them ran away when the hellhound showed up, and you played dead until it left. That's not very heroic, but hey, it worked.

However, you managed to overcome the odds (and your injuries), and after a lengthy crawl through a tower infested with indigent native tribesmen, you finally came upon the lair of the Devil Wizard Grunwold, who was guarding the object of your quest. The evil fiend fell before your bardiche, and the land was finally free of his foul shenanigans. You made your way back to civilization, and basked in the glory of your success (and the reward money).

Loot:kneepads of beaver control
rod of polyamory
entrenching tool of blue clairvoyance

Another!