Even though you were a buxom child, you always wanted to become a Fighter, like your father and his father before him. You got your wish when your hometown of Pitlick was attacked by a horde of Demon Mice. You got your head handed to you, but it cemented your desire to fight.

As you wandered the back alleys of Molehill (and let's face it, most of that place is back alleys), a hand covered your mouth while a blade pushed gently at your ribs. You let yourself be dragged into a pitch-dark abandoned tannery. A sultry female voice introduced herself as Lavender Dirge wyrm. She asked you to undertake a quest to recover the Grand Vizier's lost hissing cockroach, Davenport. Reasoning it was the best quest you'd get until you leveled up a bit, you agreed to help.

Everything was hunky-dory until you had to fend off half a dozen dire dwarves with your leg trapped in a spiked pit. Fortunately, most of them ran away when the shoggoth showed up, and you played dead until it left. That's not very heroic, but hey, it worked.

You holed up in a small storeroom with a lockable door, and spent several weeks resting until your hitpoints were back to full. Then, keeping a careful eye out for tramps, you made your way to the lair of Dark Sorcerer Frazool and the object of your quest. You thought he nearly had you when he summoned a foul horse to his aid, but you put paid to the beast with your crossbow and knocked the villain screaming into a gelatinous cube with a well-placed kick to the foot. At last, the treasure was yours!

Loot:tack hammer of lightning
amazing compass of forthrightness
origami yo-yo of florid misogyny

Another!