| Due to a misunderstanding, your daughter enrolled you in Prefectford Wizard School at a young age. (You were actually just interested in pulling coins out of ears.) Still, you graduated with high marks, and set out on your first adventure as a full-fledged Wizard. You headed off into the wild wilderness of Waxtoff in search of adventure, and upon your arrival at the great city of Marmosettia you heard a town crier shouting about how the the Marquis of Glameroth's golden-haired niece had been kidnapped by thieves, and the massive reward for their rescue. Not wanting to get in the way of the plot railroad, you set out on your new quest. At first it was a real breeze, until you got your ankle caught in a vending machine and had to gnaw it off to escape. Fortunately, you don't need that to be a hero... but you will sort of miss it. Bruised but unbroken, you readied your longbow and marched forth into the darkness, where you were immediately captured by the Black Lawyer Krampus's army of fat orcs. They hauled you before their master, but got bored and wandered off during his long gloating speech. Seeing your chance, you pushed the evil poseur into his own swinging razor-sharp pendulum, and escaped to claim your reward from the grateful people of Zevroozlchester.
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