| As a baby you were stolen from your parents by a band of orphans and raised in a dark and wild mansion. They regarded you as one of their own, but the time came for you to make your own name as a professional Thief. One fateful day, you were strolling through the quiet village of Stubborn Mule when you met the town bard. That worthy begged you to try and rescue the Marquis of Morcestecershire's buxom aunt, who had been kidnapped by barbarians. Having little to do except save the world from an evil sorcerer or whatever, you took the quest. You were doing really well until you dropped your bastard sword in a spiked pit and couldn't get it back out. Wouldn't you know it, that was when the gangsters showed up. But, unwilling to let that keep you from glory, you gritted your teeth and wielded your handaxe, and cut your way through the hordes of ents that stood between you and your goal. At last you found the lair of Evil Barbarian Gristlesword, who quite unexpectedly turned out to be your long-lost son, but you killed the lunatic anyway. And thus was the land freed from tyranny, and you earned yourself a fat reward!
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