| Ever since you were a child in the meager village of Hamlet, you wanted to become a great Wizard and learn the great mysteries of the universe, such as whether the chicken or the deep-fryer came first. The answer turned out to not be very interesting, but by that time you were a Wizard anyway. As you wandered the back alleys of Buttole (and let's face it, most of that place is back alleys), a hand covered your mouth while a blade pushed gently at your ribs. You let yourself be dragged into a pitch-dark abandoned ironmongery. A sultry female voice introduced herself as Lavender Crypt wyrm. She asked you to undertake a quest to recover the Duke of Hambonia's lost dog, Cuddles. Reasoning it was the best quest you'd get until you leveled up a bit, you agreed to help. You were doing a neat job until you had to actually go in the dungeon. That was when you fell in a iron maiden, got attacked by jocks, and got your calf bitten off by a hellhound. Fortunately, "giving up" isn't in your dictionary (probably because it's two words), so you persevered. You fought your way through countless orcs and gunslingers -- even a carrion crawler! But eventually you found the lair of the sinister Death Knight Crushdouble, and were able to defeat him by knocking him into a meat grinder with a lucky critical hit. Bruised but successful, you made it back to the nearby city of Calamaria and claimed your reward.
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