| When you were growing up in the little town of Cold Crick, you always wanted to be a mighty Sorcerer. You ended up being a Fighter instead, because you didn't have the right prime requisites. Your life changed one day, changed irrevocably -- and perhaps not for the better -- when you were wandering down the quaint bucolic dusty paths of the tiny farming village of Buttole. There, you met the blacksmith's cunning stepchild, who gave you broad hints as to the last known location of the long-lost Diamond Elephant. Recognizing the street value of such a rare treasure, you set off to find it. You were doing really well until you got attacked by more dire dwarves than you could handle. You were lucky to get out of there with your elbow intact! But, you put on your brave face, and made your way through the caverns and caves to where the Blood Devil Lord Diabolico held court over his horde of bright-eyed orphans, and with uncountable swings of your halberd (and a few well-placed attacks of opportunity), you finally slew the horrible douchenugget and rode back to town to claim your glory (and reward).
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