| Due to a misunderstanding, your sister enrolled you in Stoatsford Wizard School at a young age. (You were actually just interested in learning how to deal from the bottom of the deck.) Still, you graduated with high marks, and set out on your first adventure as a full-fledged Wizard. As luck would have it, you found yourself wandering through the sleepy village of Madlib just as the village people (you know, the construction worker, the cop, the Indian) were beset by the evil Lawyer Dave, who had poisoned the town's goldfish population. Against your better judgment (and with the hope of fat loot to come), you agreed to try and bring the villain to justice. You were kickin' ass and chewin' bubblegum until you got your kidney caught in a awkward conversation and had to gnaw it off to escape. Fortunately, you don't need that to be a hero... but you will sort of miss it. However, you knew you'd never be a mighty adventurer if you let a little setback like that stop you, and damned if you were going to end up a village idiot in some crummy backwater like Mudhole or Sto Lat. So you pressed onward until you discovered the lair of the Horror King Badfella, and after a long and dramatic battle you successfully put an end to his evil ways. And then you looted the hell out of his hideout.
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