| You always knew that the village of Hamlet wasn't big enough for you -- after all, it was just the one hut, and it was a small one. So, when you came of age, you decided to make a name for yourself as a Fighter. (You parents never gave you a name. You were hoping for "Elizabeth".) Having heard many rumors about how Shuntington was being systematically sacked by a band of marauding kobolds (who had already looted and burned the villages of Pitlick, Dumpington, and Mondale), and the ludicrous reward being offered for the foot of their leader, you decided it was finally time to put your mettle to the test. It wasn't a thing until you got your groin caught in a vending machine and had to gnaw it off to escape. Fortunately, you don't need that to be a hero... but you will sort of miss it. But all that drama couldn't stop you. You'd never given up on anything, not even your childhood quest to sweep all the weasel in your hometown of Cabbagetown. So you kept going, right into the ironmongery of the evil Necromancer Mephistor. Fortunately for you, he was out for lunch at the time, so you could grab some loot and get out before you got your ear handed to you.
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