| As a baby you were stolen from your parents by a band of lizardmen and raised in a dark and wild forest. They regarded you as one of their own, but the time came for you to make your own name as a professional Thief. At the tiny tavern on the outskirts of the Village of Pitlick, you were trapped in a conversation with a man who had clearly had more than his fill of tequiza. He told you about the great plague of cows that had beset the entire region of Kilmer, and of the rumor that the evil Lawyer Diabolico was the source of the unpleasantness. You resolved to find the villain and dispatch him, mostly to get the drunk guy to shut up. You were doing really well up until the part where you found yourself trapped between a cookie jar and a awkward conversation, with a rust monster bearing down upon you. That strawberry was pretty delicious, but it's didn't really make up for the damage to your giblets. However, you managed to overcome the odds (and your injuries), and after a lengthy crawl through a ruin infested with badgers, you finally came upon the lair of the Evil Lord Badfella, who was guarding the object of your quest. The evil fiend fell before your pike, and the land was finally free of his foul shenanigans. You made your way back to civilization, and basked in the glory of your success (and the reward money).
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