| Life was hard as a young man growing up in the city of Crunkleford, and it became even harder when you had your heart stolen by a fat, golden-haired stableboy. You became a Thief, in order to steal it back (with interest). As you wandered the back alleys of Quirm (and let's face it, most of that place is back alleys), a hand covered your mouth while a blade pushed gently at your ribs. You let yourself be dragged into a pitch-dark abandoned ironmongery. A sultry female voice introduced herself as Hooloovoo Fear blood. She asked you to undertake a quest to recover a charwoman's lost tarantula, Alex. Reasoning it was the best quest you'd get until you leveled up a bit, you agreed to help. You were rocking the house up until the part where you found yourself trapped between a crocodile's mouth and a sphere of annihilation, with a weretiger bearing down upon you. That strawberry was pretty delicious, but it's didn't really make up for the damage to your skull. But, unwilling to let that keep you from glory, you gritted your teeth and wielded your sword, and cut your way through the hordes of accountants that stood between you and your goal. At last you found the lair of Terror Lawyer Grunwold, who quite unexpectedly turned out to be your long-lost uncle, but you killed the butthole anyway. And thus was the land freed from tyranny, and you earned yourself a fat reward!
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