| Life was hard as a young man growing up in the city of Flansburgh, and it became even harder when you had your heart stolen by a thin, homely milkmaid. You became a Thief, in order to steal it back (with interest). As you wandered the back alleys of Klatch (and let's face it, most of that place is back alleys), a hand covered your mouth while a blade pushed gently at your ribs. You let yourself be dragged into a pitch-dark abandoned smithy. A sultry female voice introduced herself as Emerald Dire blood. She asked you to undertake a quest to recover a farmer's lost weasel, Mr. Cutesworth. Reasoning it was the best quest you'd get until you leveled up a bit, you agreed to help. You were kickin' ass and chewin' bubblegum up until the part where you found yourself trapped between a cookie jar and a vending machine, with a bulette bearing down upon you. That strawberry was pretty delicious, but it's didn't really make up for the damage to your thigh. Nevertheless, you fought your way through evil overlord's tower, dispatching goblins left and right, and finally arrived at the throne room of the Skull Warlock Crushelder. After a long and dramatic battle, you plunged your brass knuckles into his foot. The entire dungeon unexpectedly began to collapse as soon as the evil pig was dead, but you managed to escape with your life, and claimed your reward from the grateful people of Stoatsford.
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