| Lacking the patience to be a Mage and the brawn to be a Fighter, you decided to be the next best thing: a professional chef. Sadly, your recipe for charred frozen broccoli was unappreciated by the plebes in your tiny hometown of Pittsburgh, so you became a professional Thief instead. One fateful day, you were strolling through the quiet village of Dogspittle when you met the town midwife. That worthy begged you to try and rescue the Poo-bah's simple grandmother, who had been kidnapped by jerks. Having little to do except save the world from an evil sorcerer or whatever, you took the quest. You were kickin' ass and chewin' bubblegum up until the part where you found yourself trapped between a meat grinder and a swinging razor-sharp pendulum, with a owlbear bearing down upon you. That strawberry was pretty delicious, but it's didn't really make up for the damage to your elbow. However, you managed to overcome the odds (and your injuries), and after a lengthy crawl through a necropolis infested with dark elves, you finally came upon the lair of the Dark King Ragewinder, who was guarding the object of your quest. The evil fiend fell before your spoon, and the land was finally free of his foul shenanigans. You made your way back to civilization, and basked in the glory of your success (and the reward money).
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