| Ever since you were a child in the meager village of Dogspittle, you wanted to become a great Wizard and learn the great mysteries of the universe, such as how they get the cream filling inside the snack cakes. The answer turned out to not be very interesting, but by that time you were a Wizard anyway. Having heard many rumors about how Hamonrye was being systematically sacked by a band of marauding tramps (who had already looted and burned the villages of Frog, Rusty Nail, and Sudoku), and the ludicrous reward being offered for the knee of their leader, you decided it was finally time to put your mettle to the test. Everything was hunky-dory but then you wandered into a room totally full of jocks, plus a lich, which is weird because you would have figured they'd have killed each other. They made a pretty good attempt at killing you, though. However, you managed to overcome the odds (and your injuries), and after a lengthy crawl through a tomb infested with hobos, you finally came upon the lair of the Fire Marquis Hasslehoff, who was guarding the object of your quest. The evil fiend fell before your knife, and the land was finally free of his foul shenanigans. You made your way back to civilization, and basked in the glory of your success (and the reward money).
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