| As a child, you exhibited a normal of unusual talents, including the ability to Around the World the first day you picked up a yo-yo. So your parents, creeped out by your paranormal abilities, enrolled you in Winklesbury Wizard School. Before long, you earned your Eta of Amber and could set out to make your fortune. Having heard many rumors about how Marmosettia was being systematically sacked by a band of marauding lizardmen (who had already looted and burned the villages of Cabbagetown, Rusty Nail, and Quirm), and the ludicrous reward being offered for the thigh of their leader, you decided it was finally time to put your mettle to the test. It was pretty easy, until you had to fend off half a dozen dire dwarves with your calf trapped in a vending machine. Fortunately, most of them ran away when the bugbear showed up, and you played dead until it left. That's not very heroic, but hey, it worked. However, you knew you'd never be a mighty adventurer if you let a little setback like that stop you, and damned if you were going to end up a tavernkeep in some crummy backwater like Deaf Chicken or Flytrap. So you pressed onward until you discovered the lair of the Evil Necromancer Baaaal, and after a long and dramatic battle you successfully put an end to his evil ways. And then you looted the hell out of his hideout.
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