| Ever since you were a little boy, you wanted to become a mighty pirate and sail the seven seas, looting and plundering. Unfortunately, the country of Winklesbury is totally land-locked, so you had to settle for being a Thief. In the fiefdom of Gallston, in the unpleasant-smelling backwater of Buttole, you found an inn with cheap mead and spent the night carousing. There, you heard a tale of the forgotten treasure of the Amber Woods, lost for ages during the time of the great flood. You decided to seek the treasure yourself, heedless of the literal mountain of skeletons of those who had tried before you. You were rocking the house up until the part where you found yourself trapped between a gelatinous cube and a cookie jar, with a mimic bearing down upon you. That strawberry was pretty delicious, but it's didn't really make up for the damage to your giblets. Bruised but unbroken, you readied your scythe and marched forth into the darkness, where you were immediately captured by the Shadow Warrior Goldthwait's army of nubile thieves. They hauled you before their master, but got bored and wandered off during his long gloating speech. Seeing your chance, you pushed the evil smartass into his own succubus, and escaped to claim your reward from the grateful people of Zevroozlchester.
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