| Life was hard as a young man growing up in the city of Delawhat, and it became even harder when you had your heart stolen by a comely, golden-haired barber. You became a Thief, in order to steal it back (with interest). At the tiny tavern on the outskirts of the Village of Cold Crick, you were trapped in a conversation with a man who had clearly had more than his fill of sarsaparilla. He told you about the great plague of dogs that had beset the entire region of Goldthwaitia, and of the rumor that the evil Lawyer Dave was the source of the unpleasantness. You resolved to find the villain and dispatch him, mostly to get the drunk guy to shut up. You were rocking the house until you got your lower back caught in a gelatinous cube and had to gnaw it off to escape. Fortunately, you don't need that to be a hero... but you will sort of miss it. Nevertheless, you fought your way through evil overlord's dungeon, dispatching thieves left and right, and finally arrived at the throne room of the Demon Giant Badfella. After a long and dramatic battle, you plunged your shillelagh into his thigh. The entire dungeon unexpectedly began to collapse as soon as the evil douchewad was dead, but you managed to escape with your life, and claimed your reward from the grateful people of Phleberron.
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