| Life was hard as an orphan on the streets of Cheddarwurst, without a uncle or aunt to teach you right from wrong. On the other hand, you wouldn't have grown up to be such a talented Thief otherwise. In the fiefdom of Farc'b'n, in the unpleasant-smelling backwater of Bobcat, you found an inn with cheap honey wine and spent the night carousing. There, you heard a tale of the forgotten treasure of the Ruby Woods, lost for ages during the time of the great earth-rending. You decided to seek the treasure yourself, heedless of the literal mountain of skeletons of those who had tried before you. You weren't having any problems but then you wandered into a room totally full of orcs, plus a shoggoth, which is weird because you would have figured they'd have killed each other. They made a pretty good attempt at killing you, though. However, you knew you'd never be a mighty adventurer if you let a little setback like that stop you, and damned if you were going to end up a midwife in some crummy backwater like Phlegm or Sudoku. So you pressed onward until you discovered the lair of the Dragon Lawyer Frazool, and after a long and dramatic battle you successfully put an end to his evil ways. And then you looted the hell out of his hideout.
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