An ancient prophecy foretold of a child born in the city of Gallston with a can of sardines-shaped birthmark, who would grow up to be the greatest Wizard ever known. You have a birthmark like that, but at first you were only a sort of okay Wizard. Everyone has to start somewhere, I guess.

You rode into the city of Crunkleton, and met a shadowy stranger in a hooded cloak who was sitting in the corner of the local bar. He told you about the legendary Sapphire Pelican of X'tn'ch'roth, which is rumored to be hidden in an ancient tower near the village of Spazmotic, and promised you a hefty fee if you could bring it to him. Figuring he wouldn't offer you the quest if it weren't level-appropriate, you readily agreed.

You had a good handle on it until you had to fend off half a dozen orphans with your face trapped in a lava pool. Fortunately, most of them ran away when the rakshasa showed up, and you played dead until it left. That's not very heroic, but hey, it worked.

However, you knew you'd never be a mighty adventurer if you let a little setback like that stop you, and damned if you were going to end up a stableboy in some crummy backwater like Mudhole or Buttole. So you pressed onward until you discovered the lair of the Dragon Troll Xxyrg, and after a long and dramatic battle you successfully put an end to his evil ways. And then you looted the hell out of his hideout.

Loot:endless flagon of lizardman mead
shoulderpads of polyamory
calm bag of misogyny