| It was hard growing up as a bard's son in the tiny hamlet of Stubborn Mule, in the land of Swampleton. The other children mocked you because of your glasses and asthma, but you would have the last laugh when you grew up to be a mighty Wizard! (Which you did.) As luck would have it, you found yourself wandering through the sleepy village of Klatch just as the village people (you know, the construction worker, the cop, the Indian) were beset by the evil Knight Englebert, who had poisoned the town's boa constrictor population. Against your better judgment (and with the hope of fat loot to come), you agreed to try and bring the villain to justice. You were doing really well but then you wandered into a room totally full of bullywugs, plus a rust monster, which is weird because you would have figured they'd have killed each other. They made a pretty good attempt at killing you, though. Bruised but unbroken, you readied your Leatherman and marched forth into the darkness, where you were immediately captured by the Dark Overlord Evilthing's army of tattooed orcs. They hauled you before their master, but got bored and wandered off during his long gloating speech. Seeing your chance, you pushed the evil creep into his own sphere of annihilation, and escaped to claim your reward from the grateful people of Cavill.
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