| It was hard growing up as a midwife's son in the tiny hamlet of Foobar, in the land of Pinochle. The other children mocked you because of your glasses and asthma, but you would have the last laugh when you grew up to be a mighty Wizard! (Which you did.) As luck would have it, as you were passing through the land of Wibbleford, you stopped at the inn in the quiet hamlet of Dropseat, and heard the local tavernkeep talking about the ancient ruin that the town had (perhaps ill-advisedly) been built next to, and the fantastic Ruby Idol of Englebert that was purported to be hidden there. Without bothering to ask why nobody had managed to recover it already, you set out on your very first quest. At first it was a real breeze, until you got your ankle caught in a lava pool and had to gnaw it off to escape. Fortunately, you don't need that to be a hero... but you will sort of miss it. But, you put on your brave face, and made your way through the caverns and caves to where the Ice Knight Hasslehoff held court over his horde of fat hobos, and with uncountable swings of your spoon (and a few well-placed attacks of opportunity), you finally slew the horrible moron and rode back to town to claim your glory (and reward).
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