| As a child, you exhibited a normal of unusual talents, including the ability to Rock the Baby the first day you picked up a yo-yo. So your parents, creeped out by your paranormal abilities, enrolled you in Nickelodeon Wizard School. Before long, you earned your Alpha of Topaz and could set out to make your fortune. One fateful day, you were strolling through the quiet village of Mondale when you met the town squire. That worthy begged you to try and rescue the Earl of Nickelodeon's skeletal roommate, who had been kidnapped by dire dwarves. Having little to do except save the world from an evil sorcerer or whatever, you took the quest. You were doing a tubular job until you had to fend off half a dozen jerks with your ankle trapped in a awkward conversation. Fortunately, most of them ran away when the githyanki showed up, and you played dead until it left. That's not very heroic, but hey, it worked. But all that drama couldn't stop you. You'd never given up on anything, not even your childhood quest to clean all the Vietnamese pot-bellied pig in your hometown of Spazmotic. So you kept going, right into the haberdashery of the evil Wizard Diabolicus. Fortunately for you, he was out for lunch at the time, so you could grab some loot and get out before you got your thigh handed to you.
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