| Due to a misunderstanding, your niece enrolled you in Bacon Wizard School at a young age. (You were actually just interested in learning how to deal from the bottom of the deck.) Still, you graduated with high marks, and set out on your first adventure as a full-fledged Wizard. In the fiefdom of Wibbleshire, in the unpleasant-smelling backwater of Frog, you found an inn with cheap micheladas and spent the night carousing. There, you heard a tale of the forgotten treasure of the Amber Woods, lost for ages during the time of the great calamity. You decided to seek the treasure yourself, heedless of the literal mountain of skeletons of those who had tried before you. You were rocking the house at first, but you didn't expect to have to bareknuckle-fight all those dire dwarves. That bugbear picked the total worst time to eat your entrenching tool. Nevertheless, you fought your way through evil overlord's sewer, dispatching thieves left and right, and finally arrived at the throne room of the Blood Witchlord Evilthing. After a long and dramatic battle, you plunged your Leatherman into his eye. The entire dungeon unexpectedly began to collapse as soon as the evil dork was dead, but you managed to escape with your life, and claimed your reward from the grateful people of Shaffly-on-Surrey.
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