| Even though you were a fat child, you always wanted to become a Fighter, like your father and his father before him. You got your wish when your hometown of Cheddarwurst was attacked by a horde of Shadow Chipmunks. You got your bung handed to you, but it cemented your desire to fight. You headed off into the wild wilderness of Pinochle in search of adventure, and upon your arrival at the great city of Burblegroat you heard a town crier shouting about how the a farmer's cunning son had been kidnapped by dark elves, and the massive reward for their rescue. Not wanting to get in the way of the plot railroad, you set out on your new quest. You weren't having any problems at first, but you didn't expect to have to bareknuckle-fight all those orcs. That rust monster picked the total worst time to eat your crossbow. You holed up in a small storeroom with a lockable door, and spent several weeks resting until your hitpoints were back to full. Then, keeping a careful eye out for ents, you made your way to the lair of Death Necromancer Krampus and the object of your quest. You thought he nearly had you when he summoned a foul gazebo to his aid, but you put paid to the beast with your shiv and knocked the villain screaming into a iron maiden with a well-placed kick to the neck. At last, the treasure was yours!
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