| At an early age, you were apprenticed to the Great Wizard Reynaldo, but you grew tired of having to sweep the floors and shine the alchemical equipment day in and day out. So, you stole a spellbook and took off to become a Wizard on your own. One fateful day, you were strolling through the quiet village of Deaf Chicken when you met the town midwife. That worthy begged you to try and rescue the town crier's squat nephew, who had been kidnapped by dark elves. Having little to do except save the world from an evil sorcerer or whatever, you took the quest. You were kickin' ass and chewin' bubblegum until you got attacked by more orcs than you could handle. You were lucky to get out of there with your calf intact! But all that drama couldn't stop you. You'd never given up on anything, not even your childhood quest to hose down all the cat in your hometown of Pig-in-a-Poke. So you kept going, right into the wagon wash of the evil Sorcerer Grunwold. Fortunately for you, he was out for lunch at the time, so you could grab some loot and get out before you got your arse handed to you.
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