Coach Peterson made us all take an extra shower after gym class today. Sometimes I wonder about that guy.

My dad's trying to get me into raising little green army men, but I don't see the point. What a weird hobby! I'd rather be arranging chinchillas.

After school, I usually hang out with my friends, unless they ask me if I want to do drugs. Then I say, "I like you, but I don't like drugs. Let's build a house of cards instead!" That usually cures my problem of having any friends.