We had some guy from the college come today and talk about pledging Zeta Sigma Gamma, the big fraternity over there. I said I had enough friends without buying any, which was pretty funny, until he said he could tell that wasn't true just looking at me. It would've been okay if my former best friend Henry Schultz had stuck up for me. Whatever. I have friends! I've got you, anyway.

Yesterday, we found a ton of razor wire for our great fort. Jimmy said we should use them to make a new secret vault, but I'd rather build anti-personnel mines. We're putting it to a vote before the tribunal next week.