Mom kept pestering me to groom the rabbits while I was playing Monkey Pirate 4 today. I tried to tell her I was in the middle of a boss fight, but she made me do it anyway. She said "Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day, Mohammed will go to the mountain." I have no idea what she's talking about when she says stuff like that. Sometimes I wonder if I'm adopted.

There's this totally cute new girl at school! Her name is Autumn Hatfield and she's fantastic. I mean, she's a little weird; her mom packs her these gross organic lunches, and if she even smells a peanut, she gets all swollen and has to lie down, but she's still awesome. I wonder if she's into trading model boats? I dunno. How do you talk to girls?