My friends are all going nuts about trading ships in a bottle, but I'd rather spend my time reading comics. The new issue of Untold Tales of Wizard vs. The Monkey Mice just came out!

Mom kept pestering me to feed my room while I was playing Monkey Evil 14 today. I tried to tell her I was in the middle of a boss fight, but she made me do it anyway. She said "You can lead a horse to water, Hallmark." I have no idea what she's talking about when she says stuff like that. Sometimes I wonder if I'm adopted.