I hope your arse has been freshly washed. (I thought it would be funny to say that.)

Today Robby Davis invited me over to his house after school. He's kind of a strange kid and we've never really been friends, but we've been classmates for like forever, so I went. They had this weird puce carpet in every room, and the whole place smelled like boiled neck bacon. I looked at his collection of tiny plastics and we played a little Monkey Duty 8, and then I went home. It was pretty awkward the whole time. I hope he doesn't ask me again.

Cindy Harper asked me to go to the Sladie Thompkins dance with her. I haven't decided. She's alright, I guess. She's funny, and kind of cute. It's better than not being asked at all. I'd rather go with Ainsleigh Morrison, but she's going out Mr. Bigshot kickball star Brennen Blackburn, so fat chance of that. He thinks he's so cool, but he's a huge jerk. I don't know what she sees in him.

Another!