We had some guy from the college come today and talk about pledging Zeta Upsilon Omega, the big fraternity over there. I said I had enough friends without buying any, which was pretty funny, until he said he could tell that wasn't true just looking at me. It would've been okay if my former best friend Frankie Craig had stuck up for me. Whatever. I have friends! I've got you, anyway.

My mom says I should hang out with the new kid at school. His name's Carter Moore, if you can believe it. His mom packs him these weird organic lunches and when he gets close to peanuts, he swells up like a balloon. It's kind of a cool trick. I dunno. He's kind of a Poindexter, but I'm trying. I even traded him my deep-fried carrots at lunch yesterday for one of his gluten-free vegetable protein smoothies. I should get a medal.