There's a new afterschool club for tanning wool hats. I think I might join it. I mean, I'm not really into that stuff, but Fiorella McLaughlin is a member, and I figure maybe if I get there early I could sit next to her.

There's this totally cute new girl at school! Her name is Ainsleigh Strickland and she's fantastic. I mean, she's a little weird; her mom packs her these gross organic lunches, and if she even smells a peanut, she gets all swollen and has to lie down, but she's still awesome. I wonder if she's into building chinchillas? I dunno. How do you talk to girls?