Mom made soda crackers for dinner again. Yuck! She said I couldn't go play Kill Rising 4 until I'd cleaned my plate, so I had to choke it down. When I grow up I'm just gonna eat Whirling Peanut Twists for every meal!

Today Pauly Kidd came over after school and I showed him my pet banana slug, Leonard. He said that was a dumb name and said I should've named it Mr. Whiskers, but what does he know? He named his pet parakeet Cuddlesworth, and that's just ridiculous.