We had to take a physical fitness test in school today. It sucked! I had to run laps until I felt like my intestinal tract was going to explode, and then I couldn't do any pull-ups and Coach O'Reilly called me a scrofulous varlet. I'll bet he's just mad that he didn't make the lacrosse team when he was in school, the jerk.

So there's this new kid in school, Andy "Submarine" Williams, and he says his dad's a real-live hobo from the Kingdom of Loathing! Have you ever fought any hobos? I'll bet I could take a hobo if I had to. I mean, if I really totally had to. Especially if I could bring my favorite Pokëmann, Magikrap.