I trust your niece is in good health. (I learned that in school!)

We had to take a physical fitness test in school today. It sucked! I had to run laps until I felt like my kidney was going to explode, and then I couldn't do any pull-ups and Coach Dunn called me a lard-ass. I'll bet he's just mad that he didn't make the dodgeball team when he was in school, the jerk.

Today Freddy Lamb came over after school and I showed him my pet Siamese fighting fish, Dennis. He said that was a dumb name and said I should've named it Max, but what does he know? He named his pet Siamese fighting fish Duke, and that's just ridiculous.