Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Homunculus Stephen O'Sullivan, the Hobo in the Iron Mask

Hot: Alvin "The Flaming Bindlestiff" Cooper

Cold: Buck "Black Ice" Symington

Stench: Sewer-Dwelling Rufus Jackson

Spooky: Putrefying Larry "Boo" Martinez

Sleazy: J. R. Huxtable, the Guy Who Casually Brushes Up Against You Way Too Often for It to Be a Coincidence

Crimbo: Rickyrod "Reindeer Gamer" Toypacker

The Hoboverlord sez: Don't be a porch... swing. Which statue? Tell me which statue.

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