Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Ponytail Newton North, the Trainyard Aristotle

Hot: Bill Haskell, the Man Who Burns Like Burning

Cold: Cold Feet Harry "Frigid Jim" Cartwright

Stench: Bad Smellin' Gunther Harrison

Spooky: Dead Guy Bert "Heebie-Jeebies" Reagan

Sleazy: Lewd Ted "Overshare" Martinez

Crimbo: Leobor Teddystuffer, the One Who Waits Under the Mistletoe

The Hoboverlord sez: I'm... looking for Uncle... Leroy. Look out... Too many mailbox. Mumble mumble...

Generate some more