Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Colin "Blinky" Jones

Hot: Scorchmarks Walter, the Human Tiki-Torch

Cold: Travis "Frostbite" Brown, the Fallen Snow-Angel

Stench: Unwashed Dunstan, the Poopsmith

Spooky: Two-Feet-in-the-Grave Moe Rutgers

Sleazy: Shemp "Close-Talking" Steadwick, the Midnight Groper

Crimbo: Bowl-Full-of-Jelly Wadedreth "Silent Night" Sauerkraut

The Hoboverlord sez: Don't be a mushroom. Old... Man Black... gave me a campfire ONCE.

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