Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Jim "Pelican" Benedict

Hot: Shemp "Hot Sauce" Montague

Cold: Holden "Freezerburn" Pennington

Stench: Raphael "Gas-Passin'" Jackson

Spooky: Dead-eyed Bix Belvedere

Sleazy: Newton Robinson, the Guy Your Parents Were Specifically Referring To When They Said Not To Talk To Strangers

Crimbo: Carlbor Treetopper, the Tree Trimmer

The Hoboverlord sez: Grandma gave me a lamp once. Growl... EAT the egg?

Generate some more