Meet the Hobos
(special thanks to John Hodgman)

Normal: Half-Albino Moe, the President's Long-Lost Brother

Hot: Ember-Jugglin' T. J., the Inflammable Man

Cold: Toby Salisbury, the Guy With Icewater In His Veins But Probably Not Literally

Stench: Midden Manny, the Man Who Should Probably Change His Underwear, Like, Now

Spooky: Leonardo "Abracadaver" Paulson

Sleazy: Mature Audiences Curly, the Snake-Oil Salesman

Crimbo: Mommy-Kissin' Nickyuvel, the Crimbo Tradition

The Hoboverlord sez: Where's... my radish? HAVE you seen Grandpa?

Generate some more