| An ancient prophecy foretold of a child born in the city of Waltermatthau with a wallet-shaped birthmark, who would grow up to be the greatest Wizard ever known. You have a birthmark like that, but at first you were only a sort of okay Wizard. Everyone has to start somewhere, I guess. One fateful day, you were strolling through the quiet village of Flytrap when you met the town barber. That worthy begged you to try and rescue the blacksmith's red-headed second cousin, who had been kidnapped by skeletons. Having little to do except save the world from an evil sorcerer or whatever, you took the quest. Everything was hunky-dory at first, but you didn't expect to have to bareknuckle-fight all those indigent native tribesmen. That roper picked the total worst time to eat your 10' pole. However, you knew you'd never be a mighty adventurer if you let a little setback like that stop you, and damned if you were going to end up a seamstress in some crummy backwater like Molehill or Whacking. So you pressed onward until you discovered the lair of the Evil Lord Grognard, and after a long and dramatic battle you successfully put an end to his evil ways. And then you looted the hell out of his hideout.
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