| Lacking the patience to be a Mage and the brawn to be a Fighter, you decided to be the next best thing: a professional chef. Sadly, your recipe for blanched bundt cake was unappreciated by the plebes in your tiny hometown of Cold Crick, so you became a professional Thief instead. As luck would have it, as you were passing through the land of Burglechester, you stopped at the inn in the quiet hamlet of Cold Crick, and heard the local "seamstress" talking about the ancient ruin that the town had (perhaps ill-advisedly) been built next to, and the fantastic Amethyst Idol of Englebert that was purported to be hidden there. Without bothering to ask why nobody had managed to recover it already, you set out on your very first quest. You weren't having any problems until you got lost in a tomb -- all the walls looked exactly the same! You did find a sweet sword +1 in a roper's lair, though, and were able to intimidate some orcs into telling you where their boss's hideout was. Right before they stabbed you in the kidney. However, you knew you'd never be a mighty adventurer if you let a little setback like that stop you, and damned if you were going to end up a blacksmith in some crummy backwater like Pittsburgh or Sudoku. So you pressed onward until you discovered the lair of the Dark Lord Poisongorilla, and after a long and dramatic battle you successfully put an end to his evil ways. And then you looted the hell out of his hideout.
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