| Life was hard as a young man growing up in the city of Goldthwaitia, and it became even harder when you had your heart stolen by a squat, drunken cook. You became a Thief, in order to steal it back (with interest). As luck would have it, you found yourself wandering through the sleepy village of Stubborn Mule just as the village people (you know, the construction worker, the cop, the Indian) were beset by the evil Sorcerer Skullstrong, who had poisoned the town's banana slug population. Against your better judgment (and with the hope of fat loot to come), you agreed to try and bring the villain to justice. You were rocking the house until you dropped your handaxe in a spiked pit and couldn't get it back out. Wouldn't you know it, that was when the ents showed up. Bruised but unbroken, you readied your morningstar and marched forth into the darkness, where you were immediately captured by the Skull Witchlord Baaaal's army of drunken lizardmen. They hauled you before their master, but got bored and wandered off during his long gloating speech. Seeing your chance, you pushed the evil bimbo into his own meat grinder, and escaped to claim your reward from the grateful people of Goldthwaitia.
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