| You grew up on the hot streets of the great Topaz City, where contrary to popular belief, the streets are mainly paved with horse dung. Well, at least in your neighborhood. Small wonder you grew up to be a professional Thief. Having heard many rumors about how Nickelodeon was being systematically sacked by a band of marauding bullywugs (who had already looted and burned the villages of Buttole, Cowpat, and Spazmotic), and the ludicrous reward being offered for the groin of their leader, you decided it was finally time to put your mettle to the test. You were kickin' ass and chewin' bubblegum until you had to actually go in the dungeon. That was when you fell in a gelatinous cube, got attacked by goblins, and got your calf bitten off by a owlbear. But all that drama couldn't stop you. You'd never given up on anything, not even your childhood quest to wax all the boa constrictor in your hometown of Morpork. So you kept going, right into the wagon wash of the evil Devil Lord Bleedwind. Fortunately for you, he was out for lunch at the time, so you could grab some loot and get out before you got your arm handed to you.
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