| Life was hard as an orphan on the streets of Flytrap, without a bro' or daughter to teach you right from wrong. On the other hand, you wouldn't have grown up to be such a talented Thief otherwise. Your life changed one day, changed irrevocably -- and perhaps not for the better -- when you were wandering down the quaint bucolic dusty paths of the tiny farming village of Sudoku. There, you met a knight's tattooed grandmother, who gave you broad hints as to the last known location of the long-lost Amber Gorilla. Recognizing the street value of such a rare treasure, you set off to find it. You were doing really well until you had to fend off half a dozen hobgoblins with your ankle trapped in a gelatinous cube. Fortunately, most of them ran away when the gazebo showed up, and you played dead until it left. That's not very heroic, but hey, it worked. Bruised but unbroken, you readied your spear and marched forth into the darkness, where you were immediately captured by the Dark Warrior Venomhammer's army of sexy goblins. They hauled you before their master, but got bored and wandered off during his long gloating speech. Seeing your chance, you pushed the evil lunatic into his own spiked pit, and escaped to claim your reward from the grateful people of Crunkleford.
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