| Life was hard as a young man growing up in the city of Rubyhawk, and it became even harder when you had your heart stolen by a golden-haired, half-witted barber. You became a Thief, in order to steal it back (with interest). As luck would have it, you found yourself wandering through the sleepy village of Cowpat just as the village people (you know, the construction worker, the cop, the Indian) were beset by the evil Witchlord Mephistor, who had poisoned the town's weasel population. Against your better judgment (and with the hope of fat loot to come), you agreed to try and bring the villain to justice. There was no drama in the LBC but then you wandered into a room totally full of hobgoblins, plus a ultramarine slaad, which is weird because you would have figured they'd have killed each other. They made a pretty good attempt at killing you, though. Bruised but unbroken, you readied your battleaxe and marched forth into the darkness, where you were immediately captured by the Vampire Knight Evilthing's army of thin tramps. They hauled you before their master, but got bored and wandered off during his long gloating speech. Seeing your chance, you pushed the evil asshat into his own vending machine, and escaped to claim your reward from the grateful people of Marmosettia.
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