| As a baby you were stolen from your parents by a band of dark elves and raised in a dark and wild quarry. They regarded you as one of their own, but the time came for you to make your own name as a professional Thief. In the fiefdom of Zevroozlchester, in the unpleasant-smelling backwater of Morpork, you found an inn with cheap lager and spent the night carousing. There, you heard a tale of the forgotten treasure of the Gold Woods, lost for ages during the time of the great alignment. You decided to seek the treasure yourself, heedless of the literal mountain of skeletons of those who had tried before you. Everything was going great until you had to actually go in the dungeon. That was when you fell in a swinging razor-sharp pendulum, got attacked by dire dwarves, and got your skull bitten off by a bugbear. But, unwilling to let that keep you from glory, you gritted your teeth and wielded your mace, and cut your way through the hordes of barbarians that stood between you and your goal. At last you found the lair of Horror Warrior Unpleasantor, who quite unexpectedly turned out to be your long-lost nephew, but you killed the creep anyway. And thus was the land freed from tyranny, and you earned yourself a fat reward!
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