| Lacking the patience to be a Mage and the brawn to be a Fighter, you decided to be the next best thing: a professional chef. Sadly, your recipe for poached spareribs was unappreciated by the plebes in your tiny hometown of Whacking, so you became a professional Thief instead. One fateful day, you were strolling through the quiet village of Pittsburgh when you met the town tavernkeep. That worthy begged you to try and rescue a fisherman's half-witted uncle, who had been kidnapped by orphans. Having little to do except save the world from an evil sorcerer or whatever, you took the quest. At first it was a real breeze, until you had to fend off half a dozen hobgoblins with your leg trapped in a spiked pit. Fortunately, most of them ran away when the weretiger showed up, and you played dead until it left. That's not very heroic, but hey, it worked. Bruised but unbroken, you readied your staff and marched forth into the darkness, where you were immediately captured by the Grim Giant Englebert's army of ugly hobos. They hauled you before their master, but got bored and wandered off during his long gloating speech. Seeing your chance, you pushed the evil dork into his own swinging razor-sharp pendulum, and escaped to claim your reward from the grateful people of Crunkleton.
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