| It was hard growing up as a bard's son in the tiny hamlet of Molehill, in the land of Prefectford. The other children mocked you because of your glasses and asthma, but you would have the last laugh when you grew up to be a mighty Wizard! (Which you did.) As luck would have it, you found yourself wandering through the sleepy village of Buttole just as the village people (you know, the construction worker, the cop, the Indian) were beset by the evil King Splitdouble, who had poisoned the town's mongoose population. Against your better judgment (and with the hope of fat loot to come), you agreed to try and bring the villain to justice. You were doing a radical job until you got lost in a crypt -- all the walls looked exactly the same! You did find a sweet yo-yo +1 in a carrion crawler's lair, though, and were able to intimidate some barbarians into telling you where their boss's hideout was. Right before they stabbed you in the foot. You holed up in a small storeroom with a lockable door, and spent several weeks resting until your hitpoints were back to full. Then, keeping a careful eye out for jocks, you made your way to the lair of Evil Devil Lord Diabolicus and the object of your quest. You thought he nearly had you when he summoned a foul shoggoth to his aid, but you put paid to the beast with your bastard sword and knocked the villain screaming into a awkward conversation with a well-placed kick to the solar plexus. At last, the treasure was yours!
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