| Life was hard as an orphan on the streets of Flytrap, without a father or daughter to teach you right from wrong. On the other hand, you wouldn't have grown up to be such a talented Thief otherwise. One fateful day, you were strolling through the quiet village of Pig-in-a-Poke when you met the town cook. That worthy begged you to try and rescue a farmer's sexy stepchild, who had been kidnapped by accountants. Having little to do except save the world from an evil sorcerer or whatever, you took the quest. Everything was hunky-dory until you got your nipple caught in a swinging razor-sharp pendulum and had to gnaw it off to escape. Fortunately, you don't need that to be a hero... but you will sort of miss it. But, unwilling to let that keep you from glory, you gritted your teeth and wielded your pike, and cut your way through the hordes of gunslingers that stood between you and your goal. At last you found the lair of Blood Giant Baaaal, who quite unexpectedly turned out to be your long-lost grandfather, but you killed the punk anyway. And thus was the land freed from tyranny, and you earned yourself a fat reward!
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