| Life was hard as a young man growing up in the city of Blurstishire, and it became even harder when you had your heart stolen by a sexy, raven-haired blacksmith. You became a Thief, in order to steal it back (with interest). You headed off into the wild wilderness of Delawhat in search of adventure, and upon your arrival at the great city of Crunkleton you heard a town crier shouting about how the the Grand Vizier's raven-haired grandfather had been kidnapped by jocks, and the massive reward for their rescue. Not wanting to get in the way of the plot railroad, you set out on your new quest. You were doing a killer job until you got lost in a ruin -- all the walls looked exactly the same! You did find a sweet knife +1 in a cockatrice's lair, though, and were able to intimidate some jerks into telling you where their boss's hideout was. Right before they stabbed you in the ear. Nevertheless, you fought your way through evil overlord's sewer, dispatching ents left and right, and finally arrived at the throne room of the Fire Marquis Grimtooth. After a long and dramatic battle, you plunged your spear into his foot. The entire dungeon unexpectedly began to collapse as soon as the evil moron was dead, but you managed to escape with your life, and claimed your reward from the grateful people of Keaton.
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