| Ever since you were a child in the meager village of Phlegm, you wanted to become a great Wizard and learn the great mysteries of the universe, such as what the last digit of pi is. The answer turned out to not be very interesting, but by that time you were a Wizard anyway. Your life changed one day, changed irrevocably -- and perhaps not for the better -- when you were wandering down the quaint bucolic dusty paths of the tiny farming village of Sto Lat. There, you met the Grand Vizier's comely nephew, who gave you broad hints as to the last known location of the long-lost Gold Monkey. Recognizing the street value of such a rare treasure, you set off to find it. You weren't having any problems at first, but you didn't expect to have to bareknuckle-fight all those ents. That beholder picked the total worst time to eat your footaxe. But, unwilling to let that keep you from glory, you gritted your teeth and wielded your magic wand, and cut your way through the hordes of gunslingers that stood between you and your goal. At last you found the lair of Grim Giant Bloodsword, who quite unexpectedly turned out to be your long-lost grandmother, but you killed the smartass anyway. And thus was the land freed from tyranny, and you earned yourself a fat reward!
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