When you were growing up in the little town of Malph, you always wanted to be a mighty Sorcerer. You ended up being a Fighter instead, because you didn't have the right prime requisites.

As you wandered the back alleys of Pitlick (and let's face it, most of that place is back alleys), a hand covered your mouth while a blade pushed gently at your ribs. You let yourself be dragged into a pitch-dark abandoned horse stable. A sultry female voice introduced herself as Russet Dirge crest. She asked you to undertake a quest to recover the Lord of Nickelodeon's lost marmoset, Shadow. Reasoning it was the best quest you'd get until you leveled up a bit, you agreed to help.

At first it was a real breeze, at first, but you didn't expect to have to bareknuckle-fight all those dark elves. That cockatrice picked the total worst time to eat your "Rod of Lordly Might" (if you know what I mean).

Nevertheless, you fought your way through evil overlord's tomb, dispatching orphans left and right, and finally arrived at the throne room of the Frost Marquis Arc'klor. After a long and dramatic battle, you plunged your nunchuks into his kidney. The entire dungeon unexpectedly began to collapse as soon as the evil dork was dead, but you managed to escape with your life, and claimed your reward from the grateful people of Cavill.

Loot:origami kneepads of clairvoyance
origami eyeguard of micheladas
papercraft sack of doorknobs of lizardman slaying

Another!