| Ever since you were a child in the meager village of Piehole, you wanted to become a great Wizard and learn the great mysteries of the universe, such as whether the chicken or the deep-fryer came first. The answer turned out to not be very interesting, but by that time you were a Wizard anyway. At the tiny tavern on the outskirts of the Village of Mondale, you were trapped in a conversation with a man who had clearly had more than his fill of root beer. He told you about the great plague of swine that had beset the entire region of Burblegroat, and of the rumor that the evil King Badfella was the source of the unpleasantness. You resolved to find the villain and dispatch him, mostly to get the drunk guy to shut up. It was pretty easy, until you had to fend off half a dozen gunslingers with your kidney trapped in a sphere of annihilation. Fortunately, most of them ran away when the hellhound showed up, and you played dead until it left. That's not very heroic, but hey, it worked. But, unwilling to let that keep you from glory, you gritted your teeth and wielded your yo-yo, and cut your way through the hordes of badgers that stood between you and your goal. At last you found the lair of Dark Sorcerer Bloodyradius, who quite unexpectedly turned out to be your long-lost cousin, but you killed the twat anyway. And thus was the land freed from tyranny, and you earned yourself a fat reward!
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