| Life was hard as a young man growing up in the city of Pinochle, and it became even harder when you had your heart stolen by a underdeveloped, squat midwife. You became a Thief, in order to steal it back (with interest). In the fiefdom of Coney Island, in the unpleasant-smelling backwater of Cheddarwurst, you found an inn with cheap mead and spent the night carousing. There, you heard a tale of the forgotten treasure of the Azure Plains, lost for ages during the time of the great reaping. You decided to seek the treasure yourself, heedless of the literal mountain of skeletons of those who had tried before you. You were kickin' ass and chewin' bubblegum up until the part where you found yourself trapped between a gelatinous cube and a meat grinder, with a lich bearing down upon you. That strawberry was pretty delicious, but it's didn't really make up for the damage to your arse. However, you managed to overcome the odds (and your injuries), and after a lengthy crawl through a necropolis infested with gnolls, you finally came upon the lair of the Death Warrior Xxyrg, who was guarding the object of your quest. The evil fiend fell before your flail, and the land was finally free of his foul shenanigans. You made your way back to civilization, and basked in the glory of your success (and the reward money).
|