| Ever since you were a little boy, you wanted to become a mighty pirate and sail the seven seas, looting and plundering. Unfortunately, the country of Bacon is totally land-locked, so you had to settle for being a Thief. At the tiny tavern on the outskirts of the Village of Hamlet, you were trapped in a conversation with a man who had clearly had more than his fill of sack. He told you about the great plague of fish that had beset the entire region of Wibbleshire, and of the rumor that the evil Troll Diabolico was the source of the unpleasantness. You resolved to find the villain and dispatch him, mostly to get the drunk guy to shut up. You weren't having any problems up until the part where you found yourself trapped between a awkward conversation and a beartrap, with a bulette bearing down upon you. That strawberry was pretty delicious, but it's didn't really make up for the damage to your arse. Fortunately, "giving up" isn't in your dictionary (probably because it's two words), so you persevered. You fought your way through countless indigent native tribesmen and orcs -- even a bugbear! But eventually you found the lair of the sinister Grim Overlord Screamingcougar, and were able to defeat him by knocking him into a lava pool with a lucky critical hit. Bruised but successful, you made it back to the nearby city of Reeves and claimed your reward.
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