| Ever since you were a little boy, you wanted to become a mighty pirate and sail the seven seas, looting and plundering. Unfortunately, the country of Gallston is totally land-locked, so you had to settle for being a Thief. As luck would have it, as you were passing through the land of Wibbleford, you stopped at the inn in the quiet hamlet of Hamlet, and heard the local town crier talking about the ancient strip mall that the town had (perhaps ill-advisedly) been built next to, and the fantastic Gold Idol of Toothclavicle that was purported to be hidden there. Without bothering to ask why nobody had managed to recover it already, you set out on your very first quest. At first it was a real breeze, up until the part where you found yourself trapped between a spiked pit and a awkward conversation, with a weretiger bearing down upon you. That strawberry was pretty delicious, but it's didn't really make up for the damage to your knee. Fortunately, "giving up" isn't in your dictionary (probably because it's two words), so you persevered. You fought your way through countless gnolls and accountants -- even a hellhound! But eventually you found the lair of the sinister Evil Necromancer Grunwold, and were able to defeat him by knocking him into a cookie jar with a lucky critical hit. Bruised but successful, you made it back to the nearby city of Brazzleton and claimed your reward.
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