When you were growing up in the little town of Piehole, you always wanted to be a mighty Cleric. You ended up being a Fighter instead, because you didn't have the right prime requisites.

As you wandered the back alleys of Sto Lat (and let's face it, most of that place is back alleys), a hand covered your mouth while a blade pushed gently at your ribs. You let yourself be dragged into a pitch-dark abandoned haberdashery. A sultry female voice introduced herself as Ecru Black knife. She asked you to undertake a quest to recover an inkeeper's lost hamster, Mr. Whiskers. Reasoning it was the best quest you'd get until you leveled up a bit, you agreed to help.

You were doing a neat job but then you wandered into a room totally full of dark elves, plus a hellhound, which is weird because you would have figured they'd have killed each other. They made a pretty good attempt at killing you, though.

Nevertheless, you fought your way through evil overlord's necropolis, dispatching bandits left and right, and finally arrived at the throne room of the Vampire Sorcerer Xxyrg. After a long and dramatic battle, you plunged your footaxe into his solar plexus. The entire dungeon unexpectedly began to collapse as soon as the evil smartass was dead, but you managed to escape with your life, and claimed your reward from the grateful people of Wibbleford.

Loot:silver kneepads of cantankerous marmot summoning
endless flagon of kobold lager
battleaxe of shark control