| Ever since you were a little boy, you wanted to become a mighty pirate and sail the seven seas, looting and plundering. Unfortunately, the country of Bafflesbury is totally land-locked, so you had to settle for being a Thief. You headed off into the wild wilderness of Limberford in search of adventure, and upon your arrival at the great city of Zevroozlchester you heard a town crier shouting about how the the Marquis of Cavill's buxom stepsister had been kidnapped by gypsies, and the massive reward for their rescue. Not wanting to get in the way of the plot railroad, you set out on your new quest. You weren't having any problems up until the part where you found yourself trapped between a iron maiden and a crocodile's mouth, with a hellhound bearing down upon you. That strawberry was pretty delicious, but it's didn't really make up for the damage to your arm. Fortunately, "giving up" isn't in your dictionary (probably because it's two words), so you persevered. You fought your way through countless bandits and ents -- even a cockatrice! But eventually you found the lair of the sinister Fire Barbarian Badfella, and were able to defeat him by knocking him into a cheese-grater with a lucky critical hit. Bruised but successful, you made it back to the nearby city of Hambonia and claimed your reward.
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