| As a baby you were stolen from your parents by a band of bullywugs and raised in a dark and wild cave. They regarded you as one of their own, but the time came for you to make your own name as a professional Thief. At the tiny tavern on the outskirts of the Village of Dumpington, you were trapped in a conversation with a man who had clearly had more than his fill of sarsaparilla. He told you about the great plague of puppies that had beset the entire region of Febreezia, and of the rumor that the evil Barbarian Grunwold was the source of the unpleasantness. You resolved to find the villain and dispatch him, mostly to get the drunk guy to shut up. It was pretty easy, until you got your groin caught in a swinging razor-sharp pendulum and had to gnaw it off to escape. Fortunately, you don't need that to be a hero... but you will sort of miss it. You holed up in a small storeroom with a lockable door, and spent several weeks resting until your hitpoints were back to full. Then, keeping a careful eye out for bullywugs, you made your way to the lair of Shadow Barbarian Grognard and the object of your quest. You thought he nearly had you when he summoned a foul cockatrice to his aid, but you put paid to the beast with your magic wand and knocked the villain screaming into a gelatinous cube with a well-placed kick to the solar plexus. At last, the treasure was yours!
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