| Ever since you were a little boy, you wanted to become a mighty pirate and sail the seven seas, looting and plundering. Unfortunately, the country of Swampleton is totally land-locked, so you had to settle for being a Thief. In the fiefdom of Bacon, in the unpleasant-smelling backwater of Malph, you found an inn with cheap sarsaparilla and spent the night carousing. There, you heard a tale of the forgotten treasure of the Amethyst Woods, lost for ages during the time of the great winnowing. You decided to seek the treasure yourself, heedless of the literal mountain of skeletons of those who had tried before you. You had a good handle on it until you dropped your halberd in a succubus and couldn't get it back out. Wouldn't you know it, that was when the thieves showed up. You holed up in a small storeroom with a lockable door, and spent several weeks resting until your hitpoints were back to full. Then, keeping a careful eye out for gangsters, you made your way to the lair of Black Knight Grimtooth and the object of your quest. You thought he nearly had you when he summoned a foul flesh golem to his aid, but you put paid to the beast with your knife and knocked the villain screaming into a cheese-grater with a well-placed kick to the head. At last, the treasure was yours!
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