| At an early age, you were apprenticed to the Great Wizard Patrick, but you grew tired of having to laminate the floors and wash the alchemical equipment day in and day out. So, you stole a spellbook and took off to become a Wizard on your own. Your life changed one day, changed irrevocably -- and perhaps not for the better -- when you were wandering down the quaint bucolic dusty paths of the tiny farming village of Cowpat. There, you met the village idiot's sexy half-brother, who gave you broad hints as to the last known location of the long-lost Amethyst Beetle. Recognizing the street value of such a rare treasure, you set off to find it. You weren't having any problems but you soon were confounded by a fiendish rune-deciphering puzzle, and by the time you figured out to solve it, you were despondent as an underfed cat. You holed up in a small storeroom with a lockable door, and spent several weeks resting until your hitpoints were back to full. Then, keeping a careful eye out for gangsters, you made your way to the lair of Terror Warrior Badfella and the object of your quest. You thought he nearly had you when he summoned a foul flesh golem to his aid, but you put paid to the beast with your staff and knocked the villain screaming into a crocodile's mouth with a well-placed kick to the leg. At last, the treasure was yours!
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