| As a child, you exhibited a normal of unusual talents, including the ability to Flying Saucer the first day you picked up a yo-yo. So your parents, creeped out by your paranormal abilities, enrolled you in Waltermatthau Wizard School. Before long, you earned your Omega of Azure and could set out to make your fortune. You headed off into the wild wilderness of Farc'b'n in search of adventure, and upon your arrival at the great city of Reeves you heard a town crier shouting about how the the village idiot's simple stepchild had been kidnapped by hobos, and the massive reward for their rescue. Not wanting to get in the way of the plot railroad, you set out on your new quest. It was pretty easy, at first, but you didn't expect to have to bareknuckle-fight all those badgers. That owlbear picked the total worst time to eat your dagger. Bruised but unbroken, you readied your flail and marched forth into the darkness, where you were immediately captured by the Shadow Barbarian Evilthing's army of skeletal kobolds. They hauled you before their master, but got bored and wandered off during his long gloating speech. Seeing your chance, you pushed the evil smartass into his own awkward conversation, and escaped to claim your reward from the grateful people of Wibbleford.
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