| At an early age, you were apprenticed to the Great Wizard Shemp, but you grew tired of having to rake the floors and wax the alchemical equipment day in and day out. So, you stole a spellbook and took off to become a Wizard on your own. You headed off into the wild wilderness of Reeves in search of adventure, and upon your arrival at the great city of Farc'b'n you heard a town crier shouting about how the the Lord of Wibbleford's sexy uncle had been kidnapped by dire dwarves, and the massive reward for their rescue. Not wanting to get in the way of the plot railroad, you set out on your new quest. It wasn't a thing but then you wandered into a room totally full of hobos, plus a lich, which is weird because you would have figured they'd have killed each other. They made a pretty good attempt at killing you, though. However, you knew you'd never be a mighty adventurer if you let a little setback like that stop you, and damned if you were going to end up a bard in some crummy backwater like Dropseat or Pig-in-a-Poke. So you pressed onward until you discovered the lair of the Fire Overlord Diabolico, and after a long and dramatic battle you successfully put an end to his evil ways. And then you looted the hell out of his hideout.
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