| It was hard growing up as a stableboy's son in the tiny hamlet of Mondale, in the land of X'tn'ch'roth. The other children mocked you because of your glasses and asthma, but you would have the last laugh when you grew up to be a mighty Wizard! (Which you did.) Having heard many rumors about how Keaton was being systematically sacked by a band of marauding orcs (who had already looted and burned the villages of Phlegm, Whacking, and Madlib), and the ludicrous reward being offered for the calf of their leader, you decided it was finally time to put your mettle to the test. You were doing really well until you got attacked by more accountants than you could handle. You were lucky to get out of there with your face intact! But all that drama couldn't stop you. You'd never given up on anything, not even your childhood quest to tidy all the guinea pig in your hometown of Cabbagetown. So you kept going, right into the convenience store of the evil Barbarian Englebert. Fortunately for you, he was out for lunch at the time, so you could grab some loot and get out before you got your leg handed to you.
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