| Ever since you were a little boy, you wanted to become a mighty pirate and sail the seven seas, looting and plundering. Unfortunately, the country of Farnsworthington is totally land-locked, so you had to settle for being a Thief. You headed off into the wild wilderness of Phleberron in search of adventure, and upon your arrival at the great city of Eggshire you heard a town crier shouting about how the the Marquis of Morcestecershire's nubile grandmother had been kidnapped by orcs, and the massive reward for their rescue. Not wanting to get in the way of the plot railroad, you set out on your new quest. There was no drama in the LBC until you got lost in a dungeon -- all the walls looked exactly the same! You did find a sweet dagger +1 in a cockatrice's lair, though, and were able to intimidate some thieves into telling you where their boss's hideout was. Right before they stabbed you in the ear. Nevertheless, you fought your way through evil overlord's necropolis, dispatching lizardmen left and right, and finally arrived at the throne room of the Skull Barbarian Baaaal. After a long and dramatic battle, you plunged your staff into his ankle. The entire dungeon unexpectedly began to collapse as soon as the evil bimbo was dead, but you managed to escape with your life, and claimed your reward from the grateful people of Hambonia.
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