| You always knew that the village of Spazmotic wasn't big enough for you -- after all, it was just the one hut, and it was a small one. So, when you came of age, you decided to make a name for yourself as a Fighter. (You parents never gave you a name. You were hoping for "Craig".) In the fiefdom of Flansburgh, in the unpleasant-smelling backwater of Bobcat, you found an inn with cheap barley pop and spent the night carousing. There, you heard a tale of the forgotten treasure of the Sapphire River, lost for ages during the time of the great cleansing. You decided to seek the treasure yourself, heedless of the literal mountain of skeletons of those who had tried before you. You were rocking the house until you got attacked by more accountants than you could handle. You were lucky to get out of there with your throat intact! However, you managed to overcome the odds (and your injuries), and after a lengthy crawl through a pyramid infested with desperados, you finally came upon the lair of the Death Sorcerer Goldthwait, who was guarding the object of your quest. The evil fiend fell before your "Rod of Lordly Might" (if you know what I mean), and the land was finally free of his foul shenanigans. You made your way back to civilization, and basked in the glory of your success (and the reward money).
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