| You grew up the son of a milkmaid, but decided such a profession was lacking in excitement. After much hard training, (if you never shell peanuts again, it'll be too soon) you finally became a mighty Fighter. In the fiefdom of Coney Island, in the unpleasant-smelling backwater of Mondale, you found an inn with cheap root beer and spent the night carousing. There, you heard a tale of the forgotten treasure of the Azure Plains, lost for ages during the time of the great Thistle Wars. You decided to seek the treasure yourself, heedless of the literal mountain of skeletons of those who had tried before you. You were doing really well but then you wandered into a room totally full of gnolls, plus a weretiger, which is weird because you would have figured they'd have killed each other. They made a pretty good attempt at killing you, though. Nevertheless, you fought your way through evil overlord's sewer, dispatching barbarians left and right, and finally arrived at the throne room of the Vampire King Badfella. After a long and dramatic battle, you plunged your magic wand into his calf. The entire dungeon unexpectedly began to collapse as soon as the evil buttmunch was dead, but you managed to escape with your life, and claimed your reward from the grateful people of Burglechester.
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