| Due to a misunderstanding, your wife enrolled you in Glameroth Wizard School at a young age. (You were actually just interested in pulling rabbits out of hats.) Still, you graduated with high marks, and set out on your first adventure as a full-fledged Wizard. Your life changed one day, changed irrevocably -- and perhaps not for the better -- when you were wandering down the quaint bucolic dusty paths of the tiny farming village of Cheddarwurst. There, you met the Dauphin's skeletal son, who gave you broad hints as to the last known location of the long-lost Emerald Stork. Recognizing the street value of such a rare treasure, you set off to find it. At first it was a real breeze, until you had to actually go in the dungeon. That was when you fell in a succubus, got attacked by indigent native tribesmen, and got your neck bitten off by a russet slaad. Bruised but unbroken, you readied your bastard sword and marched forth into the darkness, where you were immediately captured by the Dark Necromancer Clawcaribou's army of comely bullywugs. They hauled you before their master, but got bored and wandered off during his long gloating speech. Seeing your chance, you pushed the evil hick into his own cookie jar, and escaped to claim your reward from the grateful people of Nickelodeon.
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