| Lacking the patience to be a Mage and the brawn to be a Fighter, you decided to be the next best thing: a professional chef. Sadly, your recipe for clarified bacon bits was unappreciated by the plebes in your tiny hometown of Phlegm, so you became a professional Thief instead. As luck would have it, you found yourself wandering through the sleepy village of Mudhole just as the village people (you know, the construction worker, the cop, the Indian) were beset by the evil Lord Grunwold, who had poisoned the town's sugar glider population. Against your better judgment (and with the hope of fat loot to come), you agreed to try and bring the villain to justice. It wasn't a thing until you had to actually go in the dungeon. That was when you fell in a gelatinous cube, got attacked by badgers, and got your bung bitten off by a roper. You holed up in a small storeroom with a lockable door, and spent several weeks resting until your hitpoints were back to full. Then, keeping a careful eye out for jerks, you made your way to the lair of Blood Knight Badfella and the object of your quest. You thought he nearly had you when he summoned a foul horse to his aid, but you put paid to the beast with your shiv and knocked the villain screaming into a sphere of annihilation with a well-placed kick to the arse. At last, the treasure was yours!
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