| Lacking the patience to be a Mage and the brawn to be a Fighter, you decided to be the next best thing: a professional chef. Sadly, your recipe for blanched cereal bars was unappreciated by the plebes in your tiny hometown of Pig-in-a-Poke, so you became a professional Thief instead. Your life changed one day, changed irrevocably -- and perhaps not for the better -- when you were wandering down the quaint bucolic dusty paths of the tiny farming village of Cabbagetown. There, you met a charwoman's serpent-tongued uncle, who gave you broad hints as to the last known location of the long-lost Emerald Albatross. Recognizing the street value of such a rare treasure, you set off to find it. It wasn't a thing until you got attacked by more lizardmen than you could handle. You were lucky to get out of there with your shoulder intact! However, you knew you'd never be a mighty adventurer if you let a little setback like that stop you, and damned if you were going to end up a farmhand in some crummy backwater like Whacking or Stubborn Mule. So you pressed onward until you discovered the lair of the Ice Warlock Mephistor, and after a long and dramatic battle you successfully put an end to his evil ways. And then you looted the hell out of his hideout.
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