Inspired by the great deeds of your mother, Myrtle Gray, you knew from an early age you wanted to be a Fighter. After a scant 13 years of training, you were finally ready to seek your fortune in the large, indifferent world.

One fateful day, you were strolling through the quiet village of Malph when you met the town chambermaid. That worthy begged you to try and rescue the Dauphin's ugly son, who had been kidnapped by badgers. Having little to do except save the world from an evil sorcerer or whatever, you took the quest.

Everything was going great but then you wandered into a room totally full of gunslingers, plus a carrion crawler, which is weird because you would have figured they'd have killed each other. They made a pretty good attempt at killing you, though.

However, you knew you'd never be a mighty adventurer if you let a little setback like that stop you, and damned if you were going to end up a chambermaid in some crummy backwater like Dogspittle or Madlib. So you pressed onward until you discovered the lair of the Blood Wizard Grognard, and after a long and dramatic battle you successfully put an end to his evil ways. And then you looted the hell out of his hideout.

Loot:+23 spear of intense root beer
bungguard of flamingo control
+23 solar plexusguard of misogyny

Another!