As a baby you were stolen from your parents by a band of barbarians and raised in a dark and wild factory. They regarded you as one of their own, but the time came for you to make your own name as a professional Thief.

Having heard many rumors about how Waltermatthau was being systematically sacked by a band of marauding gnolls (who had already looted and burned the villages of Klatch, Klatch, and Frog), and the ludicrous reward being offered for the skull of their leader, you decided it was finally time to put your mettle to the test.

You were kickin' ass and chewin' bubblegum but you soon were confounded by a fiendish series of carefully timed jumps puzzle, and by the time you figured out to solve it, you were unhappy as an underfed earwig.

But, unwilling to let that keep you from glory, you gritted your teeth and wielded your bardiche, and cut your way through the hordes of dark elves that stood between you and your goal. At last you found the lair of Death Marquis Arc'klor, who quite unexpectedly turned out to be your long-lost son, but you killed the assface anyway. And thus was the land freed from tyranny, and you earned yourself a fat reward!

Loot:contemptful thimble of tequiza
calm backpack of polygamy
bone china bracers of fireballs