| At an early age, you were apprenticed to the Great Wizard J. B., but you grew tired of having to exfoliate the floors and muck out the alchemical equipment day in and day out. So, you stole a spellbook and took off to become a Wizard on your own. At the tiny tavern on the outskirts of the Village of Stubborn Mule, you were trapped in a conversation with a man who had clearly had more than his fill of mead. He told you about the great plague of swine that had beset the entire region of Crunkleford, and of the rumor that the evil Troll Blackfist was the source of the unpleasantness. You resolved to find the villain and dispatch him, mostly to get the drunk guy to shut up. At first it was a real breeze, until you had to actually go in the dungeon. That was when you fell in a vending machine, got attacked by gunslingers, and got your eye bitten off by a owlbear. But all that drama couldn't stop you. You'd never given up on anything, not even your childhood quest to laminate all the kitten in your hometown of Flytrap. So you kept going, right into the brewery of the evil Knight Diabolicus. Fortunately for you, he was out for lunch at the time, so you could grab some loot and get out before you got your neck handed to you.
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