| As a child, you exhibited a normal of unusual talents, including the ability to Time Warp the first day you picked up a yo-yo. So your parents, creeped out by your paranormal abilities, enrolled you in Stoatsford Wizard School. Before long, you earned your Theta of Topaz and could set out to make your fortune. As luck would have it, as you were passing through the land of Limberford, you stopped at the inn in the quiet hamlet of Malph, and heard the local barber talking about the ancient tower that the town had (perhaps ill-advisedly) been built next to, and the fantastic Azure Idol of Dave that was purported to be hidden there. Without bothering to ask why nobody had managed to recover it already, you set out on your very first quest. You weren't having any problems up until the part where you found yourself trapped between a iron maiden and a beartrap, with a cockatrice bearing down upon you. That strawberry was pretty delicious, but it's didn't really make up for the damage to your giblets. But, unwilling to let that keep you from glory, you gritted your teeth and wielded your battleaxe, and cut your way through the hordes of desperados that stood between you and your goal. At last you found the lair of Demon Warlock Diablolo, who quite unexpectedly turned out to be your long-lost grandmother, but you killed the arse anyway. And thus was the land freed from tyranny, and you earned yourself a fat reward!
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