| At an early age, you were apprenticed to the Great Wizard Achilles, but you grew tired of having to groom the floors and groom the alchemical equipment day in and day out. So, you stole a spellbook and took off to become a Wizard on your own. In the fiefdom of Brazzleton, in the unpleasant-smelling backwater of Sudoku, you found an inn with cheap jell-o shots and spent the night carousing. There, you heard a tale of the forgotten treasure of the Ruby Woods, lost for ages during the time of the great famine. You decided to seek the treasure yourself, heedless of the literal mountain of skeletons of those who had tried before you. Everything was hunky-dory until you had to fend off half a dozen skeletons with your giblets trapped in a awkward conversation. Fortunately, most of them ran away when the green slaad showed up, and you played dead until it left. That's not very heroic, but hey, it worked. But, you put on your brave face, and made your way through the caverns and caves to where the Terror Overlord Frazool held court over his horde of buxom kobolds, and with uncountable swings of your longbow (and a few well-placed attacks of opportunity), you finally slew the horrible punk and rode back to town to claim your glory (and reward).
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