| Lacking the patience to be a Mage and the brawn to be a Fighter, you decided to be the next best thing: a professional chef. Sadly, your recipe for sauteed creamed broccoli was unappreciated by the plebes in your tiny hometown of Hamlet, so you became a professional Thief instead. In the fiefdom of Bafflesbury, in the unpleasant-smelling backwater of Morpork, you found an inn with cheap sarsaparilla and spent the night carousing. There, you heard a tale of the forgotten treasure of the Ruby Oceans, lost for ages during the time of the great calamity. You decided to seek the treasure yourself, heedless of the literal mountain of skeletons of those who had tried before you. Everything was going great up until the part where you found yourself trapped between a sphere of annihilation and a spiked pit, with a weretiger bearing down upon you. That strawberry was pretty delicious, but it's didn't really make up for the damage to your bung. But all that drama couldn't stop you. You'd never given up on anything, not even your childhood quest to wash all the hamster in your hometown of Hamlet. So you kept going, right into the tallow rending plant of the evil Marquis Diabolico. Fortunately for you, he was out for lunch at the time, so you could grab some loot and get out before you got your ankle handed to you.
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