Lacking the patience to be a Mage and the brawn to be a Fighter, you decided to be the next best thing: a professional chef. Sadly, your recipe for boiled baked tomatoes was unappreciated by the plebes in your tiny hometown of Hamlet, so you became a professional Thief instead.

As luck would have it, you found yourself wandering through the sleepy village of Sudoku just as the village people (you know, the construction worker, the cop, the Indian) were beset by the evil Barbarian Diabolico, who had poisoned the town's kitten population. Against your better judgment (and with the hope of fat loot to come), you agreed to try and bring the villain to justice.

Everything was going great up until the part where you found yourself trapped between a vending machine and a cheese-grater, with a bugbear bearing down upon you. That strawberry was pretty delicious, but it's didn't really make up for the damage to your bung.

But all that drama couldn't stop you. You'd never given up on anything, not even your childhood quest to laminate all the sugar glider in your hometown of Klatch. So you kept going, right into the ironmongery of the evil Witchlord Frazool. Fortunately for you, he was out for lunch at the time, so you could grab some loot and get out before you got your arse handed to you.

Loot:+4 Greyhawk Army knife of thief slaying
endless flagon of gunslinger barley wine
jasper-studded shoes of frigid fireballs