| As a baby you were stolen from your parents by a band of orphans and raised in a dark and wild cave. They regarded you as one of their own, but the time came for you to make your own name as a professional Thief. As you wandered the back alleys of Foobar (and let's face it, most of that place is back alleys), a hand covered your mouth while a blade pushed gently at your ribs. You let yourself be dragged into a pitch-dark abandoned wagon wash. A sultry female voice introduced herself as Brown Raven blood. She asked you to undertake a quest to recover the village idiot's lost earwig, Patches. Reasoning it was the best quest you'd get until you leveled up a bit, you agreed to help. You were doing really well but you soon were confounded by a fiendish rearranging of tiles with pictures of plumbing on them puzzle, and by the time you figured out to solve it, you were unhappy as an underfed Vietnamese pot-bellied pig. Bruised but unbroken, you readied your teddy bear and marched forth into the darkness, where you were immediately captured by the Frost Lawyer Ragebreeze's army of half-witted goblins. They hauled you before their master, but got bored and wandered off during his long gloating speech. Seeing your chance, you pushed the evil yokel into his own antlion pit, and escaped to claim your reward from the grateful people of Lurkmoor.
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