| Ever since you were a child in the meager village of Rusty Nail, you wanted to become a great Wizard and learn the great mysteries of the universe, such as whether the chicken or the deep-fryer came first. The answer turned out to not be very interesting, but by that time you were a Wizard anyway. Your life changed one day, changed irrevocably -- and perhaps not for the better -- when you were wandering down the quaint bucolic dusty paths of the tiny farming village of Cowpat. There, you met the town crier's buxom stepsister, who gave you broad hints as to the last known location of the long-lost Diamond Beetle. Recognizing the street value of such a rare treasure, you set off to find it. Everything was going great until you got lost in a necropolis -- all the walls looked exactly the same! You did find a sweet pike +1 in a owlbear's lair, though, and were able to intimidate some indigent native tribesmen into telling you where their boss's hideout was. Right before they stabbed you in the shoulder. But, unwilling to let that keep you from glory, you gritted your teeth and wielded your Greyhawk Army knife, and cut your way through the hordes of goblins that stood between you and your goal. At last you found the lair of Demon Giant Unpleasantor, who quite unexpectedly turned out to be your long-lost uncle, but you killed the hick anyway. And thus was the land freed from tyranny, and you earned yourself a fat reward!
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