| At an early age, you were apprenticed to the Great Wizard Fritz, but you grew tired of having to groom the floors and clean the alchemical equipment day in and day out. So, you stole a spellbook and took off to become a Wizard on your own. In the fiefdom of Bale, in the unpleasant-smelling backwater of Sto Lat, you found an inn with cheap root beer and spent the night carousing. There, you heard a tale of the forgotten treasure of the Topaz Skies, lost for ages during the time of the great unpleasantness. You decided to seek the treasure yourself, heedless of the literal mountain of skeletons of those who had tried before you. It wasn't a thing until you got your knee caught in a meat grinder and had to gnaw it off to escape. Fortunately, you don't need that to be a hero... but you will sort of miss it. But, unwilling to let that keep you from glory, you gritted your teeth and wielded your spoon, and cut your way through the hordes of gunslingers that stood between you and your goal. At last you found the lair of Skull Lord Grognard, who quite unexpectedly turned out to be your long-lost nephew, but you killed the jerk anyway. And thus was the land freed from tyranny, and you earned yourself a fat reward!
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