| It was hard growing up as a barber's son in the tiny hamlet of Dropseat, in the land of Claremont. The other children mocked you because of your glasses and asthma, but you would have the last laugh when you grew up to be a mighty Wizard! (Which you did.) At the tiny tavern on the outskirts of the Village of Ironforge, you were trapped in a conversation with a man who had clearly had more than his fill of jell-o shots. He told you about the great plague of squirrels that had beset the entire region of Stoatsford, and of the rumor that the evil Sorcerer Unpleasantor was the source of the unpleasantness. You resolved to find the villain and dispatch him, mostly to get the drunk guy to shut up. It was pretty easy, until you got lost in a dungeon -- all the walls looked exactly the same! You did find a sweet yo-yo +1 in a horse's lair, though, and were able to intimidate some tramps into telling you where their boss's hideout was. Right before they stabbed you in the leg. Nevertheless, you fought your way through evil overlord's ruin, dispatching jerks left and right, and finally arrived at the throne room of the Ice Lawyer Diabolicus. After a long and dramatic battle, you plunged your 10' pole into his lower back. The entire dungeon unexpectedly began to collapse as soon as the evil arse was dead, but you managed to escape with your life, and claimed your reward from the grateful people of Zevroozlchester.
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