| Life was hard as a young man growing up in the city of Hamonrye, and it became even harder when you had your heart stolen by a simple, ugly midwife. You became a Thief, in order to steal it back (with interest). One fateful day, you were strolling through the quiet village of Cold Crick when you met the town village idiot. That worthy begged you to try and rescue an inkeeper's homely nephew, who had been kidnapped by goblins. Having little to do except save the world from an evil sorcerer or whatever, you took the quest. Everything was hunky-dory until you got your nipple caught in a meat grinder and had to gnaw it off to escape. Fortunately, you don't need that to be a hero... but you will sort of miss it. Bruised but unbroken, you readied your dagger and marched forth into the darkness, where you were immediately captured by the Black Devil Lord Grunwold's army of thin dire dwarves. They hauled you before their master, but got bored and wandered off during his long gloating speech. Seeing your chance, you pushed the evil asshat into his own sphere of annihilation, and escaped to claim your reward from the grateful people of Waxtoff.
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