Even though you were a raven-haired child, you always wanted to become a Fighter, like your father and his father before him. You got your wish when your hometown of Malph was attacked by a horde of Dark Herrings. You got your nipple handed to you, but it cemented your desire to fight.

One fateful day, you were strolling through the quiet village of Frog when you met the town farmhand. That worthy begged you to try and rescue the blacksmith's fat nephew, who had been kidnapped by gypsies. Having little to do except save the world from an evil sorcerer or whatever, you took the quest.

You were kickin' ass and chewin' bubblegum but then you wandered into a room totally full of jocks, plus a carrion crawler, which is weird because you would have figured they'd have killed each other. They made a pretty good attempt at killing you, though.

But, you put on your brave face, and made your way through the caverns and caves to where the Shadow Necromancer Hasslehoff held court over his horde of bright-eyed bandits, and with uncountable swings of your sack of doorknobs (and a few well-placed attacks of opportunity), you finally slew the horrible halfwit and rode back to town to claim your glory (and reward).

Loot:boots of cowardly lightning
extra-sharp shillelagh of barbarian slaying
+3 halberd of polyamory