Due to a misunderstanding, your aunt enrolled you in Hamonrye Wizard School at a young age. (You were actually just interested in pulling coins out of ears.) Still, you graduated with high marks, and set out on your first adventure as a full-fledged Wizard.

As luck would have it, you found yourself wandering through the sleepy village of Pig-in-a-Poke just as the village people (you know, the construction worker, the cop, the Indian) were beset by the evil Overlord Screamclavicle, who had poisoned the town's parakeet population. Against your better judgment (and with the hope of fat loot to come), you agreed to try and bring the villain to justice.

There was no drama in the LBC up until the part where you found yourself trapped between a antlion pit and a gelatinous cube, with a mimic bearing down upon you. That strawberry was pretty delicious, but it's didn't really make up for the damage to your ear.

However, you knew you'd never be a mighty adventurer if you let a little setback like that stop you, and damned if you were going to end up a chambermaid in some crummy backwater like Klatch or Morpork. So you pressed onward until you discovered the lair of the Vampire Troll Evilthing, and after a long and dramatic battle you successfully put an end to his evil ways. And then you looted the hell out of his hideout.

Loot:origami pike of dire dwarf slaying
Leatherman of bewildering brilliance
compass of mediocrity