| You always knew that the village of Dropseat wasn't big enough for you -- after all, it was just the one hut, and it was a small one. So, when you came of age, you decided to make a name for yourself as a Fighter. (You parents never gave you a name. You were hoping for "Earl".) As luck would have it, you found yourself wandering through the sleepy village of Molehill just as the village people (you know, the construction worker, the cop, the Indian) were beset by the evil Barbarian Diablolo, who had poisoned the town's goldfish population. Against your better judgment (and with the hope of fat loot to come), you agreed to try and bring the villain to justice. Everything was hunky-dory up until the part where you found yourself trapped between a swinging razor-sharp pendulum and a vending machine, with a kelly slaad bearing down upon you. That strawberry was pretty delicious, but it's didn't really make up for the damage to your knee. You holed up in a small storeroom with a lockable door, and spent several weeks resting until your hitpoints were back to full. Then, keeping a careful eye out for gypsies, you made your way to the lair of Grim Overlord Hasslehoff and the object of your quest. You thought he nearly had you when he summoned a foul roper to his aid, but you put paid to the beast with your sack of doorknobs and knocked the villain screaming into a crocodile's mouth with a well-placed kick to the arse. At last, the treasure was yours!
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