| As a child, you exhibited a normal of unusual talents, including the ability to Walk the Dog the first day you picked up a yo-yo. So your parents, creeped out by your paranormal abilities, enrolled you in Swampleton Wizard School. Before long, you earned your Eta of Topaz and could set out to make your fortune. You headed off into the wild wilderness of Crunkleton in search of adventure, and upon your arrival at the great city of Eggshire you heard a town crier shouting about how the a farmer's homely grandfather had been kidnapped by gunslingers, and the massive reward for their rescue. Not wanting to get in the way of the plot railroad, you set out on your new quest. It was pretty easy, until you got attacked by more desperados than you could handle. You were lucky to get out of there with your giblets intact! Fortunately, "giving up" isn't in your dictionary (probably because it's two words), so you persevered. You fought your way through countless gnolls and lizardmen -- even a green slaad! But eventually you found the lair of the sinister Devil Devil Lord Krampus, and were able to defeat him by knocking him into a spiked pit with a lucky critical hit. Bruised but successful, you made it back to the nearby city of Claremont and claimed your reward.
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