| As a baby you were stolen from your parents by a band of accountants and raised in a dark and wild mineshaft. They regarded you as one of their own, but the time came for you to make your own name as a professional Thief. As luck would have it, as you were passing through the land of Tealbury Grove, you stopped at the inn in the quiet hamlet of Stubborn Mule, and heard the local serf talking about the ancient dungeon that the town had (perhaps ill-advisedly) been built next to, and the fantastic Ruby Idol of Hasslehoff that was purported to be hidden there. Without bothering to ask why nobody had managed to recover it already, you set out on your very first quest. You were doing a awesome job until you had to actually go in the dungeon. That was when you fell in a swinging razor-sharp pendulum, got attacked by skeletons, and got your throat bitten off by a beholder. But all that drama couldn't stop you. You'd never given up on anything, not even your childhood quest to wax all the weasel in your hometown of Deaf Chicken. So you kept going, right into the granary of the evil Lawyer Englebert. Fortunately for you, he was out for lunch at the time, so you could grab some loot and get out before you got your shoulder handed to you.
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