| Ever since you were a little boy, you wanted to become a mighty pirate and sail the seven seas, looting and plundering. Unfortunately, the country of Gallston is totally land-locked, so you had to settle for being a Thief. In the fiefdom of Zevroozlchester, in the unpleasant-smelling backwater of Sudoku, you found an inn with cheap sack and spent the night carousing. There, you heard a tale of the forgotten treasure of the Topaz Plains, lost for ages during the time of the great unpleasantness. You decided to seek the treasure yourself, heedless of the literal mountain of skeletons of those who had tried before you. You had a good handle on it until you had to actually go in the dungeon. That was when you fell in a crocodile's mouth, got attacked by bullywugs, and got your arse bitten off by a rakshasa. Bruised but unbroken, you readied your entrenching tool and marched forth into the darkness, where you were immediately captured by the Terror King Diabolico's army of cunning ents. They hauled you before their master, but got bored and wandered off during his long gloating speech. Seeing your chance, you pushed the evil jerk into his own sphere of annihilation, and escaped to claim your reward from the grateful people of Bafflesbury.
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